Obama pitch is in the dirt
Irate Cubs fans could show him how serious they are in November
Are we absolutely sports insane? Have we substituted fandom, amusement and cheering for actual substance in our lives?
I ask this because Olympic star Michael Phelps apparently has been anointed a savior, when without his shark suit, lane lines, and 10,000 calories a day, he's an average Joe.
(Chris Sweda/Sun-Times)
(Scott Stewart/Sun-Times)
I mean, if my drain's clogged and it's between Phelps and a journeyman plumber, I know who I'm calling.
Yet sports importance ratchets ever upward.
This is a roundabout way of saying the Democratic Convention is going on in Denver, and, sacre Santo, Barack Obama stepped in it when he said Cubs fans aren't ''serious'' baseball fans.
Chicago resident Obama probably could have said his first move as Democratic Party presidential candidate was to nuke China and gotten less reaction from Cubs fans. (And remember, they're everywhere. Cubs fans. Not just Chinese.)
The blogs and chat rooms were -- still are? -- so lit up with outrage, the obtainable heat could melt Greenland.
Welcome to the world of sports, Senator!
It's not like politics, beloved Hyde Park Guy, where nothing means anything, where Joe Biden one day can say you're too inexperienced to be president and the next sign on as your ecstatic, hair-plugged, cap-toothed running mate, grinning like a possum passing razor blades.
No, sports -- as you might be figuring out, playground hoops junkie -- matter.
For those Americans who missed it, Obama told ESPN's Stuart Scott the other day that Cubs fans were essentially frauds.
His exact words were these: ''The Cubs ... they're nice. You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer ... there are beautiful people out there, people aren't watching the game.
''That's not serious,'' Obama said, without any doubt or reservation. ''White Sox, that's baseball ... South Side.''
Oh, brother. First of all, this may have been Obama's way of joking and doing the what-the-heck-Mayor-Daley's-a-blabbering-Sox-fan-and-it-hasn't-hurt-him.
Or maybe he was thinking of Gov. Blagojevich, a nutball Cubs fan, and how Helmet Hair Rod is always at Wrigley Field rooting for his North Side club.
Indeed, every time I see the Guv at Wrigley, bodyguards all about, he says with such earnestness, ''Do you think this is the year? Do you?'' that I have to chuckle. But he doesn't chuckle back.
What Obama seems to be missing is that Mayor Daley could be elected even if he declared war on everything north of Madison Street, such is his clout. And Blago -- who knows if he'll avoid indictment, like so many Illinois politicians before him.
Obama needs every vote if he wants to be elected in November, just days after somebody will have won the World Series.
The Cubs are in first place in their division, with the best record in baseball. They haven't won a World Series in 99 years. Do you even want to joke about that pent-up craving?
If the Cubs win the 2008 Series, you think the Republicans might not replay Obama's anti-Cubs jibes to full effect?
Chicago is the city on the map the days.
Both the Cubs and Sox (Obama's team, if you haven't figured it out) are in first place. A ''Subway Series'' would be little less than mayhem in Chicago. Think votes might swing in the process?
Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan, a Democrat, smiling like a prom queen, said on television, when queried about Obama's statement, ''One of the great things about being a Cubs fan is if you're lucky, you'll see a good game. But you're always having a good time!''
Thanks for the insight, lawyer buddy.
Then she added of teammate Barack, ''I think he was being honest. I don't think it was a mistake.''
The chatters on MLB.com disagreed.
''I think Jesse should've cut his ---- off, like he said he would,'' one Cubs fan said.
(And MLB.com has strict message-board guidelines.)
''Yeah, I don't get it,'' another wrote. ''If Cubs fans 'aren't in the game,' then how does that place roar when there are two strikes on a batter in a key situation? It's not like there's a buzzer under their seats telling them to rise and make noise.''
Trust me, I checked a lot of Internet sports sites, and these are a few of the printable statements.
''Christ, this guy has enough issues trying to win over the American public,'' another said. ''But to go out and bash what has become America's team in an election year? Is this how deep the pathetic jealousy and insecurities of Sox fans stretch? I mean, politicians are notorious for not trying to offend anybody while running for office. And this fool goes out of his way to take a shot at his own constituency? Good god. What a stupid stupid statement.''
This all came with the recent information that Obama has been the apparent assassination target of white supremacists.
Somebody named Tharin Gartrell, 28, was arrested on a weapons charge after a traffic stop Sunday in Denver, and police found two rifles, a high-powered scope and methamphetamine in his car. A second man was arrested at a Denver hotel in the case.
I have heard from inside sources that the Secret Service has seldom had a candidate with so many death threats lobbed at him as Obama.
The sports divide is real, and maybe overhyped.
But let's hope we always know the difference between games and reality.
Now that's important.