It's no coming-out party

Reaction to Amaechi suggests athletes still don't get it

The ignorance of others doesn't detract from John Amaechi's brave decision, but it helps explain why the former NBA player waited until after retirement to come out. Unfortunately, it seems that no matter how far the rest of society advances, men's professional team sports remain grounded in a homophobic world.

Did you read what superstar LeBron James said about Amaechi? James gave a new twist to the ''don't ask, don't tell'' policy in his remarks to reporters. On one hand, James doesn't think an openly gay player could survive in the NBA. On the other hand, James thinks Amaechi is untrustworthy for not having come out while he was an active player.

''We're like family,'' James said. ''We take showers together, you're on the bus and you're talking about a lot of things. You have to be trustworthy. We all trust each other. There's a locker-room code. What's said in the locker room stays in the locker room. I haven't been around a person like that, so I don't know how I'd react.''

A person like that. Like what, exactly? Oh, never mind.

Surely James has had a gay teammate or two during his career, whether he has known it or not. But setting aside his naivete, what about his closed-mindedness? James' statement doesn't speak well for the league. Sure, commissioner David Stern gets it, telling the Associated Press that a players' sexual orientation is of no concern. Unfortunately, Stern isn't a player. Unfortunately, Philadelphia 76ers forward Shavlik Randolph -- who said, ''As long as you don't bring your gayness on me, I'm fine'' -- is.

Then there's Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, himself a former player. In his upcoming biography, Man in the Middle, Amaechi, who played two seasons under Sloan, says Sloan called him gay slurs behind his back. After being asked about the allegations, Sloan released a statement wishing Amaechi well.

Not everyone in the NBA is a bigot. For instance, Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers, who coached Amaechi with the Orlando Magic, called him a ''fantastic kid'' and added that he ''couldn't care a flying flip about'' his sexual orientation. But given the closed-mindedness that pervades the league, and indeed all professional sports, it's tough to imagine an active male player in any team sport ever coming out. No one has yet.

Billy Bean, who retired from major-league baseball in 1995 and came out publicly in 1999, wishes someone would. He's disappointed that the sports landscape continues to be so unwelcoming to gays.

''LeBron is 22 years old, and he's at the height of his success,'' Bean said. ''For someone of his importance just to show a little compassion, and it doesn't cost anything but having an open mind and an open heart. But he's still afraid to compromise his standing with the group. He's afraid he'd be seen as less of a man. At the end of the day, he missed a chance to help change the world. There aren't many people who have that platform to change the way others think.''

Bean is pleased that another barrier has been knocked down. Amaechi, 36, has become the first NBA player to come out, and that's important. But considering that former NFL player Dave Kopay came out in 1975, you have to wonder if professional sports have progressed at all in the last three decades.

''It's good that we are able to see someone, especially a [black] man who succeeded at the highest level of his sport, come out,'' Bean said. ''That said, I had heard rumors all week that an NBA player was coming out, and I was excited at the prospect that it was a current player. I had hoped it was a current player, so we could move the process along.

''That's not to diminish what John is doing and the generous decision he's made. He will have an impact on young athletes, especially basketball players. But honestly, it's a reminder that no [male athlete in a team sport] has made that decision while still an active player.''

In 2005, WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes became the highest-profile athlete to come out in a team sport. But it's not the same as a man coming out. As a society, we don't care as much about women's pro basketball. Swoopes didn't have as much to lose. That's not to say Swoopes wasn't courageous.

''It's harder for a man than for a woman, but that doesn't mean it's easy for women,'' said Cyd Zeigler Jr., co-founder of outsports.com -- or ''ESPN for homos,'' as he likes to call it. ''[Swoopes] was at the top of her sport and had a lot at risk. It's different when a woman comes out, but not as different as people want to say.''

But if an active male team-sport athlete came out? That, Zeigler said, would be ''the Holy Grail.''

''Poll after poll shows that fans say they don't care if an athlete is gay,'' he added hopefully. ''Society is changing.''

Unfortunately, the insular world of a locker room doesn't reflect society. In the locker room, an athlete answers only to his teammates and coaches. And most of them still don't get it.

''In the seven years since I've come out,'' Bean said, ''we've continued to stand in the mud.''

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