What have we learned?

It would be nice to think tough punishments will change Piniella, Johnson for the better, but their pasts are no cause for optimism

Judgment Monday was a sorry moment in Chicago sports, a day when Tank Johnson was suspended for having enough weapons to equip a small army while Lou Piniella received a stiffer sentence than the minor-league nutball who crawled across an infield. I'd like to think both situations will be better for it. Oh, to believe Johnson will stop behaving like a creep and the Cubs will be stoked all season by their manager's umpire-abusing tirade.

But that would be wishful thinking when common sense suggests otherwise.

To impose a punishment is to hope a person rehabilitates his mind and soul. Can we honestly declare with firm faith that Johnson, who not long ago was staring us down on Super Bowl media day and injecting the race card while discussing ''demons'' in his midst, will purge all negative influences and become an entirely new man? I realize 60 days in Cook County Jail can accelerate a maturity curve and broaden one's perspective. But I also know Tank wasn't exactly adopting a new-age discipline in his 8-by-10 cell, having devoured almost $700 of junk food that included 162 beef sticks, 40 honey buns and 35 blocks of summer sausages.

Granted, that's a much better path than being arrested three times in 18 months and keeping six unregistered firearms, including two assault-style rifles, in the suburban home where his two daughters were playing. But is it realistic to think a man who hung out with at least one convicted armed robber and drug dealer, frequented seedy bars and kept pit bulls at his house suddenly can become, ahem, one of football's model citizens? To hear Tank after the ruling was announced by the commissioner -- a gentler-than-necessary Roger Goodell banned him eight games, reduceable to six if he meets behavioral conditions -- he could become a candidate for sainthood and a Nobel Peace Prize.

''I'm really looking forward to continuing my effort to be Man of the Year in the NFL,'' said Johnson, seemingly humbled and free of anger while wearing an orange shirt with ''New Money'' scrawled on one side and ''C.E.O.'' on the other.

And how does he plan to spend those emotionally fragile days during his suspension, when he can't practice with the Bears or participate in team events? Can Tank stay away from guns, clubbing and the life he led for too long? ''During those six games, I'm going to just do everything I can to be a better man,'' he vowed. ''I'm looking at it like a six-game suspension because I'm very confident that I'm capable of doing everything [Goodell] asked me to do and more. As a professional, you have to deal with adverse situations. And I firmly believe having to sit out six games is going to only give me time to get better.''

He is very lucky Goodell didn't wield a harsher hammer in his aggressive crackdown on the league's criminal element. Johnson has been convicted, remember, which means he could have received the same seasonlong suspension as Tennessee Titans troublemaker Adam ''Pacman'' Jones, who has been arrested five times and had 10 episodes in which he was interviewed by authorities -- but hasn't been convicted. Rather than take Johnson's slammer time into account and deciding on eight games, Goodell could have gone the opposite route and ruled that a jail conviction deserves the stiffest punishment. He gave Tank a break and probably saved his career. Wisely, Johnson and the Bears chose not to appeal and are hoping Goodell activates him in Week 7, for a game at Philadelphia.

But that doesn't mean he won't be an early-season distraction for a fading contender with too many other problems. Johnson's activities in town during those six weeks will be subject to intense media scrutiny. It doesn't speak well of Halas Hall's so-called emphasis on good character that one of Tank's replacements will be Dusty Dvoracek, who has had anger and violence issues and once was kicked off Oklahoma's team after a bar fight.

Wow. Out with Rambo, in with Mongo.

How curious that Johnson's suspension was announced shortly before the suspension of Piniella, who deserved the four-game sitdown after treating umpire Mark Wegner like a human dumpster. The commissioner's office also nailed him for ''exciting the crowd,'' according to Loopy Lou. He probably means ''inciting'' a crowd that littered the outfield with debris and forced the Atlanta Braves to retreat to their dugout, another proud moment in Wrigley Field fan history.

If Piniella's fit was contrived to deflect attention from a poorly performing team, the idea was as hideous as the tantrum itself. All he did was remove himself from a potentially season-defining series in Milwaukee, where the Cubs need to sweep the Brewers for momentum and confidence purposes. I'm glad Major League Baseball is trying to curb Lou Rage and ump abuse. Just because a manager is frustrated doesn't give him the right to repeatedly kick dirt on an ump and demean him -- especially when Wegner got the call right. It's one thing to rush out and argue. It's another to turn umps into whipping boys, as too many managers have done lately. How funny that Class AA manager Phillip Wellman, not a well man, was suspended only three games.

Congratulations, Lou. You one-upped the all-time clown act.

Amid the storms, Piniella is facing questions about whether he has lost his clubhouse. WSCR-AM host Terry Boers reported Monday that many Cubs veterans have lost faith in Piniella's management style and expressed those opinions strongly at the recent players-only meeting. That may be a stretch, but you can't blame them for seething when Piniella repeatedly calls out players in news conferences while never blaming himself. A 7-2 win over the Brewers, by the way, gives the Cubs a 2-0 record with Alan Trammell.

''I will serve it and I will learn from this experience,'' Piniella said. ''These things won't happen again. It's over and time to move on.''

If only it were that simple. These men can say they're sorry for sins serious and light, but how will things turn out in the end? That's all that matters.