It's criminal that Angelo can't say no

Now that the Bears have revealed themselves as double-talking phonies, now that they've embraced the comical contradiction that they covet ''good-character people'' while giving big creep Tank Johnson a FOURTH chance in life, let me lay it out there for Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith. In fact, let me lay it out there like a loaded assault weapon in a suburban home, with pit bulls snarling and drugs nearby and kids around in a scene that makes Britney Spears look like a good mom.

You guys are really scaring me up there at Halas Hall. I just want you to know that.

As trusted leadership goes, the general manager and his hand-picked coach haven't exactly distinguished themselves lately. If their handling of the Johnson crisis represents organizational waffling of the worst kind -- an emphasis on winning over discipline and a tolerance of dangerous behavior to make sure their nose tackle plays in the postseason, which defies Angelo's b.s. about accountability -- their collective handling of business on and off the field hardly engenders faith they can direct the Bears to Super Bowl XLI.

Honestly, can you picture Jerry and Lovie on a postgame podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy from the new commissioner? I more easily envision Virginia McCaskey dancing to ''Lovesexy'' during Prince's halftime show.

The best sports franchises are airtight and firm in most everything they do, with New England still the NFL's most effective working model. But in a decision as important to the community they serve as any they'll ever make, the Bears wavered, wobbled and flip-flopped before ultimately selling out to the irresponsible concept that they need Tank to help a depleted defense in the playoffs. Of course, this all could become moot if a Cook County judge -- hopefully not an out-of-control Bears fan who wants to help the team cause -- rules Friday in Skokie that Johnson violated probation and sends Tank to the tank. At least it would show in an out-of-whack football town that some authority figures still get it, unlike Angelo, who contradicted himself within a contradiction as he struggled to explain the Johnson call.

''We look at the character issues very seriously on every player,'' he said. ''We're in the business to win football games. You need talent to do that, but you have to have good-character players with talent. We'll compromise sometimes, but we'll never prostitute character. And I want to make that very clear: We're not prostituting character.''

Compromising, prostituting, selling out to the bottom line of wins and losses -- it's all the same to me. He can't possibly think we're stupid enough to buy into his semantical hocus-pocus, can he? While I fumigate the room, think back to the finality and anger in Angelo's voice last Friday, when he warned Johnson after his house was raided and he was arrested a third time: ''At some point, a player must be held accountable for his actions. We will not condone a history of poor decisions or actions that are going to affect us -- not only from a credibility standpoint, but distract or impair our goal. Anything that distracts us from that goal, that's going to be treated very severely.''

Well, it wasn't treated severely. Angelo listened too closely to Smith, who listened too closely to Bears players, who apparently are allowed to run the asylum even while some make police blotters themselves. And suddenly, a GM who sounded like a district attorney just a few days earlier was coming off like Father Flanagan. I realize Johnson's parents made a persuasive impact. I realize Tank specified on paper how he intends to change his lifestyle. But come on, gentlemen. Do you actually think a guy who had six weapons in his house just last week, then made the foolish call to go clubbing in a notorious bar, has dramatically changed his ways in such a short period? My, don't we all wish we had bosses so lenient. If it were me or you who had committed Tank's sins and been arrested three times, we'd be looking for new work.

''He's made some unbelievable changes,'' said Angelo, slinging the nonsense and hoping it sticks. ''I'm not going to get into specifics, but they're certainly going to be life-altering. We believe in Tank Johnson, bottom line.''

And why would he believe in him? Because Tank told him so, roughly 78 hours removed from the Ice Bar.

''Thankfully, they know the true Terry 'Tank' Johnson, and I'm sure everything came into account when they made the decision to keep me a part of the Bears' family,'' Johnson said.

These are the types of dubious decisions that can break management and coaching careers, Angelo and Smith should know. The Bears say they made the Tank decision as a ''family,'' involving the team captains in the process, but serious discipline goes out the window when they bend so far for one problematic player. Now, anyone who gets into trouble at Halas Hall will expect the Tank-gets-another-chance treatment. And given Angelo's willingness to court criminals, is the swirl of off-the-field trouble ever going to stop? The least he can do is end the drivel about ''good character.'' That's a lie.

Behind the scenes, upper management has pondered extending the contracts of Smith and Angelo concurrently. Smith's deal expires after next season, Angelo's after 2008, and the thinking is both could be extended through 2010. But if the Bears again are a one-and-done playoff casualty, only weeks after the Johnson controversy, won't the approval ratings of both men dip to George Bush levels (39 percent)? And if so, how can they be issued extensions if media and fans are so unhappy with their performance?

Smith has his own problems. In his third season, he still doesn't strike me as a dynamic sideline operator, even in matters as simple as throwing flags on replay challenges. Loud, vigorous boos still are ringing after a lame decision Sunday, when he settled for overtime against Tampa Bay with three timeouts and 1:17 left in regulation. It makes no sense to throw seasonlong support behind Rex Grossman, who has performed well in two games since a now-or-Griese ultimatum, then not let him try to lead a game-winning drive.

If the Bears lose at home next month, as they did last January, there won't be much civic passion to extend either man's contract. It's not an overstatement to say the Bears had better reach the Super Bowl for the pressure to subside. These are tense times for Jerry and Lovie, and right now, I'm thinking Donald Trump showed better judgment on Miss USA.

Jay Mariotti is a regular on ''Around the Horn'' at 4 p.m. weekdays on ESPN. Send e-mail to inbox@suntimes.com with name, hometown and daytime phone number. Letters run Sunday.