TELANDER: The war of tweets between Chicago and Boston heats up
BY RICK TELANDER firstname.lastname@example.org June 15, 2013 11:56PM
CHICAGO, IL - JUNE 12: Jonathan Toews #19 of the Chicago Blackhawks looks for the puck along the boards in the third period against the Boston Bruins in Game One of the NHL 2013 Stanley Cup Final at United Center on June 12, 2013 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 170405315
Updated: August 15, 2013 2:41AM
It didn’t take long for good old-fashioned trash-talking between cities to get rolling.
As the Blackhawks blew out to a 1-0 lead in Game 2, on Patrick Sharp’s slice shot from the right circle in the first period, the tweets between two major ad agencies — one pure Chicago, one pure Boston — flew.
The thing they dreamed up is called ‘‘The Smackley Cup 2013,’’ and as of Period 3, with the game tied 1-1, Leo Burnett of Chicago was leading Arnold Worldwide of Boston 263-233.
That was in sheer volume of trash tweets. It had nothing to do with quality, though the zingers were trending upward. The winner — whether from volume or craft was not immediately clear — would get $10,000 from the other agency to donate to charity.
‘‘These people are writers, so they’re very funny,’’ said Leo Burnett USA chief creative officer Susan Credle. ‘‘We want it to be fun and clean.’’
Clean took a beating, too. We’ll skip those.
Along about the time Sharp knocked in that early goal, a Burnett-ite wrote:
‘‘Chara, Chewbacca - same thing.’’
That was followed on the site with:
‘‘Q: A car contains a Bruins forward, center and defender. Who is driving the car? A: The cop.’’
These are your creative geniuses, people. The ones who tell you what to eat, drink and wear.
I am only the messenger.
◆ Welcome to Big Shoulders, Bean Boys.
◆ Wait! Isn’t Arnold the name of the pig on ‘‘Green Acres’’?
This was when the Blackhawks were skating circles around the Bruins, digging out everything in the corners, playing a defense so tough that the Bruins were spending almost no time near the Hawks’ net.
The Hawks seemed to have been robbed of one goal by the refs, and they had outshot Boston 19-5. Even with just a 1-0 lead, they were wildly dominant
Confidence oozed from the bench and the frenzied fans in the stands, many of them still highly aroused from Jim Cornelison’s national anthem, an event that has become something like a combo hog-calling contest and cannon-firing. Certainly, it is so loud that OSHA should investigate with regard to public hearing loss.
Then Bruins center Chris Kelly knocked in a rebound goal on Hawks goalie Corey Crawford, and we had a 1-1 tie that somehow you just knew would carry all through regulation and demand yet another overtime period, the sixth in the Hawks’ last three games.
And it did.
As did Boston’s Arnold-ites’ volleys.
◆ Marian is my sister’s name.
◆ ‘‘Hog butcher of the world” does not look good on a resume.
◆ Dyeing a river green to prove you’re Irish. #InferiorityComplex.
There was one left over from Game 1:
◆ Lucic just beat Crawford like a rented mule.
◆ Um...Chicago, how’s Theo Epstein working out for you?
It was then, 302-279, Chicago, in smack tweets.
On the ice it was evening up, if such a thing is possible, when neither team is capable of beating the other in regulation. The plus side to the endless play? These two clubs are both good and evenly matched.
But that triple-overtime win by the Hawks didn’t mean much when the Bruins’ Daniel Paille lifted a sweet pass from center Tyler Seguin into the net behind Crawford with six minutes remaining in OT.
It’s all even headed to Boston for Games 3 and 4, and this should make Bruins fans happy. It got the Arnold folks uppity, that’s for sure.
◆ Chicago/Chicago, that toddling town... ‘‘Toddling”? Yeah, that’s cool.
◆ It’s magnificently hilarious that anyone wanted to build a mile of anything in that wind tunnel.
Burnett had just a tad left.
◆ Google Bruins roster to see who wins the mullet competition: #hockeyhair.
But that got nowhere, as somebody in Boston brought up the appearance of good old No. 88, the little Hawks winger who didn’t do much in this defeat.
◆ Winning in the barber chair… Kane looks like Dwayne Schintzius.
Oh dear, he kind of does.
And now the trash-talking should begin in earnest.
This was not a game the Hawks wanted to lose.
Does it even matter that there was one truthful tweet in the barrage that came from our Windy City copy writers?
◆ We know how to say ‘chowder.’
Better pock the cah for a long one.