Updated: June 13, 2014 11:48AM
MIAMI — Joakim Noah has a history of unforgettable quotes.
“Hollywood as hell’’ is one of his most memorable.
The Bulls center uttered those words about Miami’s Big Three after losing to them in the 2011 Eastern Conference finals. Basically, one step short of calling them sellouts.
And that’s about the nicest thing Noah has said about them.
But if Miami can pull off another roster coup and add Carmelo Anthony to the mix this offseason, Noah can drop the Hollywood because the new-look Big Four would simply be hell.
A modern-day Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine, and, of course, a broken-down Dwyane Wade.
First of all, how realistic is it?
Well, it’s been whispered about since the All-Star game, and an ESPN report Wednesday gave it legs. LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Wade all have the power to opt out of their deals, and Anthony can do the same in New York. So it comes down to simple unselfish economics. Or, basically, what’s been going on with the San Antonio Spurs the last few years as Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili have stayed together while the team still has cap room to add depth.
Put it this way: Duncan, Parker and Ginobili made a combined $30 million this year. The Bulls’ Derrick Rose and Carlos Boozer made a combined $33 million.
Stings, doesn’t it?
The easiest way for the Heat to split the pie and still be able to add depth would be for all four players to sign for $12 million for the 2014-15 season and agree to raises of about $500,000 for the following three years.
But that’s also asking each player to walk away from about $60 million on the open market for the price of a dynasty in South Beach.
Welcome to Gar Forman’s worst nightmare.
Another four-year dynasty in Miami all but closes the door on any chance the Bulls have of seeing an NBA Finals with their current group. It’s easy to forget that Noah will be 34 by then, Taj Gibson 32, Jimmy Butler 28 and, of course, Rose will be 29 with two major knee surgeries on his resume.
Then there’s coach Tom Thibodeau, who is signed through the 2016-17 season. There might not be a 2017-18 if he feels like he’s in a no-win situation.
What’s stopping all this from happening?
Anthony’s will be tested, and the talk is Wade isn’t keen on the idea of once again leaving money on the table at this point in his career.
The entire Bulls organization should be pulling for Wade to hold on to that stingy attitude.
And the big loser in all of this? Poor Noah. It’s Noah that’s had to put the team on his shoulders the past two seasons. It’s Noah who has shown an unbelievable will to win no matter how bad the circumstances. It’s Noah that was in Anthony’s ear, playing recruiter the entire second half of this season because Rose doesn’t believe in such practices.
If there is some light for the Bulls, it’s that Anthony at least has them on his radar as one of six possible destinations. Unfortunately, Miami carries way more weight.
Good thing for the Bulls that June is full of wild rumors in NBA circles.
Keep telling yourself that.