Chicago Sun-Times Latest news from the Chicago Sun-Times Online en-us (Editor) Newspapers Chicago Sun-Times 84 34 30 Copyright 2014 <![CDATA[ Surgical scare no reason for shame ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: You printed a letter from “Self-Conscious in Georgia” (May 15), a young man who is insecure about the scar from his heart surgery. I have had three surgeries for congenital defects, my first at 2 years old. Because many women’s fashions expose the upper chest, I applied anti-scar products, which greatly reduced the size and color of my scars. Swimwear lines have sun-blocking swim shirts that are quick-drying and comfortable. At the beach, “Self-Conscious” could wear a beach-themed T-shirt and say he is reducing his sun exposure, which is a good idea these days. As to anyone protesting … ]]> Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:46:44 -0500 <![CDATA[ Tired of husband hiding health woes ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: When my husband is sick or needs to have surgery, he refuses to tell his family and doesn’t want me to. This puts me in a very awkward position. I’m damned if I do tell them because he will be upset with me, and damned if I don’t because his family won’t trust me, and I don’t want things that way. Invariably, when he gets home, he calls his family and tells them all about his surgery, and I’m left looking like I withheld the information, when it’s not me at all. I have asked him what if … ]]> Sun, 17 Aug 2014 16:06:33 -0500 <![CDATA[ Don’t use med staff to scare your kids ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a nurse who has been providing flu vaccinations for customers in a big-box store. Most of them regard us health care workers as people who want to keep them healthy. My problem is parents who use me as a threat of punishment for their kids. I have had parents drag their screaming, crying kids over to me, telling them that if they don’t behave they are going to “make me” give them a shot. One woman pulled her daughter by the arm, sat her in the chair and said, “OK, give her a shot!” The little girl’s … ]]> Fri, 15 Aug 2014 15:55:59 -0500 <![CDATA[ Whirlwind romance needs to slow down ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I’m finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I’m seeing. “Brent” is smart, sweet and loving. We have been dating for a little over a week and he has already given me keys to his place. (I have a roommate, or I would have given him my keys, too!) I love him. He loves me. I am so happy. I feel calm and confident about how we’re progressing. This is a first for me. … ]]> Fri, 15 Aug 2014 18:03:40 -0500 <![CDATA[ He cheats, puts all the pressure on her ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My husband of 30 years had an affair a year and a half ago. We struggled through the aftermath and are trying to restart our relationship. He remained in touch with the other woman until she finally pulled the plug on him, and now he has no interest in talking with me about our relationship or how to improve it. He is distant and refuses to say “I love you.” He doesn’t initiate hugs or kisses. He will initiate sex every so often, but I am usually the one who seems to need more contact. When I question … ]]> Fri, 15 Aug 2014 02:19:13 -0500 <![CDATA[ Husband nags her to get her to drink ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m not much of a drinker. I have nothing against drinking or those who do. I just do not like the taste of alcohol. Worse, I have a very low tolerance for it. After only half a glass of wine, I become so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open. It makes me feel physically awful. My husband takes offense to the fact that I don’t want to drink. When we’re out with friends, he’ll have three or four beers and pressure me to the point of embarrassment in front of them until I finally give in … ]]> Wed, 13 Aug 2014 14:15:33 -0500 <![CDATA[ Daughter stalked by much older man ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: I am very concerned about my 33-year-old daughter’s safety. A man in his mid-60s, someone she met at a previous job, has become obsessed with her. He has declared his love for her, divorced his wife and slathered my struggling, single daughter with gifts over the last three years. She has refused his advances on nearly a daily basis, and he is now tracking her every move. If she leaves her house for even 30 minutes, he knows and accuses her of going to have sex with someone. If she says she’s coming to my house, he … ]]> Wed, 13 Aug 2014 02:21:58 -0500 <![CDATA[ Tired of being hit on by younger men ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a single woman in my late 30s and have an 18-year-old daughter. When I am alone or out with my girlfriends, I am constantly hit on by younger men. My girlfriends say it’s because I don’t look my age and that I should feel flattered. Well, I am not a “cougar,” and I don’t get turned on by younger men. I find it offensive when I am approached by them. While my single friends are being asked on romantic dates by professional older men, I’m being asked on dates by struggling college boys who have no car, … ]]> Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:36:54 -0500 <![CDATA[ Methods to avoid leaving kids in cars ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: It disturbs me greatly that we keep reading about parents leaving their children in cars, whether it be absentmindedness, stress or downright intentional. It needs to stop. I’m hoping car manufacturers can come up with an idea — maybe a sensor that once the doors are closed and locked, should there be motion or a sound in the vehicle, the windows would automatically open, giving a passer-by a chance to see inside and maybe save a precious life. — Frustrated by “Premature” Angels Dear Frustrated: You are not the only one who is disturbed by these recent tragedies. … ]]> Sun, 10 Aug 2014 15:39:45 -0500 <![CDATA[ Heavy woman hurt by mother’s words ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a 24-year-old plus-sized woman (60 or 70 pounds overweight), but very comfortable in my own skin. When swimming in public, I wear a one-piece bathing suit because it doesn’t attract a lot of attention. When I’m home, I have a bikini top and shorts I prefer to wear. This is because I don’t like being covered up like it was in the 1950s, and I feel good when my curves are properly accentuated. When I go back to see my family and swim, I wear a bikini top and black shorts. Recently, my mother said, “When the … ]]> Fri, 08 Aug 2014 17:49:49 -0500 <![CDATA[ Parents yell at kids for no good reason ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a 15-year-old girl who has two younger brothers. My parents are good people, but they can be extremely harsh and cruel. They curse us out and scream at us for petty things almost every day. I told my best friend about it and she said that it is emotional abuse. I disagree. I have always been told that every parent yells at their kids. Maybe not every day, but regardless, everyone gets mad sometimes. I honestly didn’t even think there was such a thing as emotional abuse. I don’t know what to do. I have been suffering … ]]> Fri, 08 Aug 2014 15:28:46 -0500 <![CDATA[ Friend gobbles up everything in sight ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: I have a friend who will help herself to anything in my fridge, pantry, etc. without asking. She also will eat most if not all food that’s meant to be shared, such as appetizers and snacks at a social gathering. Once, she literally polished off an entire plate of appetizers before my guests arrived and I had nothing to feed them. After she finishes the food, she often says, “Oh, I was starving!” I find myself hiding food from her when she comes over, or delaying putting treats out for guests until later in the party. The … ]]> Thu, 07 Aug 2014 18:33:56 -0500 <![CDATA[ Men want it often as they can get it ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I just finished reading the letter from “Pressured” (April 23), the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and his wife have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year. She was wondering if this is normal. I can tell her that my former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex that also included who initiated it. I explained to him that I was more than willing to have frequent sex, but that he also had to be an attentive, … ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2014 13:49:32 -0500 <![CDATA[ Mom fears her past will haunt daughter ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: Coming out of an abusive relationship in the past, I made some poor decisions. I moved away from home and into pornography and prostitution. I come from a small town, and it became a big deal when it hit the Internet. Everyone in my generation back home knew what I did. Years later, I’m back home. I have a wonderful husband and we’re expecting our first child — a girl. My husband loves and accepts me in spite of my past, and my mother has become my best friend. I love my life here. Nowhere else feels like … ]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:56:16 -0500 <![CDATA[ Take care naming baby after deceased ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: What is the protocol for naming a baby after a deceased person? If the name you want to use is a deceased family member’s name, do we ask his next of kin for approval? Do we say nothing? Is it assumed that people who wish to use someone’s name when naming their child should seek permission (whether the person is living or dead)? Obviously, some people will use the name regardless of being granted a blessing or not, but I’m wondering what is appropriate in this situation. — Pregnant in Illinois Dear Pregnant: In the Jewish faith, it … ]]> Mon, 04 Aug 2014 15:48:57 -0500 <![CDATA[ Wants children, but afraid to have them ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am a happily married, 26-year-old female with just one problem: I’m afraid to have children. I have always wanted children, and it’s something my husband and I often discuss. Anytime we are asked when we plan to start our family, we always say four to five years, but we have been saying this same thing for four years. I always thought I’d be ready by now. My husband has been very sick for the past few years and had to take time off work. We were able to scrape by on my salary, but it was tough. … ]]> Sun, 03 Aug 2014 15:07:50 -0500 <![CDATA[ Don’t need mom’s OK to have baby ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My husband, “Pete,” and I are at a point in our lives where we’re ready to start a family. We have already started trying. We both have college degrees, jobs and own our home. I have talked with my OB and have started making myself “baby-ready.” Friends and most of our family are happy we’re trying to start a family. The problem is my parents seem less than enthused. One night last week, my mother, dad, Pete and I were enjoying some local entertainment and drinks together. Mom got a tad sloshed and told me she wishes my … ]]> Fri, 01 Aug 2014 12:41:31 -0500 <![CDATA[ Mom should cut teen some slack ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m 16 and so is my boyfriend. He’s wonderful. We’re very much in love and intend to be together for the rest of our lives, but my mother is causing major problems in our relationship. We’re not allowed to see each other outside of school. Neither of us has a driver’s license, and we’re not getting them anytime soon. Even if someone will be watching us the whole time, Mom says she’s afraid we’re going to “make out.” We won’t, and it’s very distressing. She says she trusts me, but clearly she doesn’t. She also says she approves … ]]> Fri, 01 Aug 2014 15:47:22 -0500