Chicago Sun-Times Latest news from the Chicago Sun-Times Online en-us (Editor) Newspapers Chicago Sun-Times 84 34 30 Copyright 2014 <![CDATA[ She finds proof dad cheating on mother ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I had suspicions my dad was cheating on my mom, and when she found a mysterious earring in the house one day, I knew I had to find the proof. I went into his iPad and checked his email/Facebook and IMs and found he apparently has a girlfriend. She works in his office and is also married with a family. Dad found out I broke into his iPad and confronted me. Instead of apologizing for cheating on my mom, he told me I need to think about what I’m doing because I could be ruining a bunch of … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 15:04:53 -0500 <![CDATA[ Mom insensitive about late husband ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My dad died in April after a brief illness. Before he passed, my stepmother encouraged him to donate his body to science because she is to be buried with her first husband, and she didn’t want the expense of burying Dad. I went to pick up my father’s ashes as she requested. When I got there, she invited me into her bedroom to see that she had made a shrine to her first husband, who had died three years before she and Dad were married. The one photo she had of Dad was 2 inches by 3 inches, … ]]> Wed, 17 Sep 2014 14:10:52 -0500 <![CDATA[ Only child seeks to relate to other teens ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a 15-year-old girl. When I’m with the high school group of kids at my church, I try to extend myself and talk, but they never reciprocate much. I always have to try to think of something to say and be careful I don’t embarrass myself. Especially around guys, I feel awkward and self-conscious. I feel OK about myself, but I still get nervous. Other girls find things to talk about to each other but not me, and guys never talk to me first, either. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or being too careful. I’m … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:04:08 -0500 <![CDATA[ He pushes her to watch sex videos ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am a full-time mother of three young children and have been married for nine years. Since the beginning, my husband has pushed to have things “his way.” He struggles with his temper and has yelled at me over little things. We have met with a counselor and were showing improvement in our marriage — or so I thought — until he started pushing me to watch explicit sex DVDs and read sex books. I feel very uncomfortable doing this. He claims he wants us to watch them for “educational reasons.” He seems obsessed with the idea that … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:03:52 -0500 <![CDATA[ Advice on obesity fires up readers ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: Your response to “Offended Daughter” (Aug. 10), whose mother didn’t like her lounging in a bikini top at her house because of her weight, was inconsiderate, irresponsible and, frankly, offensive. You started off well, advising her to consider her mother’s preference because it’s her house, but your second paragraph took a wrong turn. You used your column to imply she should not feel comfortable in her own skin. You assumed her doctor thinks she’s unhealthy, knowing nothing about her other than the fact she’s 60 to 70 pounds more than “average.” You assumed she was “complacent” and her … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:03:36 -0500 <![CDATA[ Co-worker reveals sensitive details ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I have overheard a person who works as an aide at the local elementary school talking about the students — discussing their special needs, behavioral issues, etc. I think it is appalling that she’s relaying confidential information to others in the community. The rule for employees here is, “What happens in the school stays in the school.” I’m not sure what to do. I have heard from her too many times that it was “just an oversight” on her part. Should I let the parents of these students know, or make the school administrators aware of the situation? … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:03:24 -0500 <![CDATA[ Mother right: send thank-you cards ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I just turned 14 and had a small party with relatives to celebrate it. A few days later, my mom bought me thank-you cards and said I should send them out. I told the people “thank you” for the gifts in person. I don’t think thank-you cards are necessary for something as small as birthdays. Shouldn’t they be reserved for things like weddings and baby showers? Mom and I are anxious to see your answer. — No Thank-You Dear No Thank-You: Listen to your mother, because she’s trying to tell you something important. When people do something nice … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:03:06 -0500 <![CDATA[ Gay man’s parents are still in denial ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a gay male college student who is out and comfortable with who I am — 99 percent of the time. When I was in high school, I tried to come out to my parents and it didn’t go smoothly. They had an emotional crisis for a day, then shrugged it off as “just another teenage phase.” After the panic mode was over, they bought me off with an expensive car and continued believing I’m straight. I make no attempt to hide who I am because I expect to be treated the same, regardless. But it’s awkward whenever … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:02:52 -0500 <![CDATA[ She’s second fiddle to his man cave ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I have been married for 13 years, and I’m beginning to wonder if my husband still wants to be with me. He gets home before I do and stays in his room watching TV and piddling around on the computer. He never comes out to say hello when I get home; I go in there and greet him. He comes out when I have dinner fixed and then returns to his room. I understand the “man cave” thing. Everyone needs their time and space, but this has become an everyday routine. I have tried to tell him I … ]]> Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:02:35 -0500 <![CDATA[ Child’s race may reveal her affair ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am five months pregnant with my second child and engaged to a wonderful man, “Tony.” We get along well with my ex-husband, with whom I share custody of my first child. But problems may arise when the baby is born. I had a night of sex with a friend who is of a different race. Tony knows about it and the possibility that the baby will be mixed. He feels strongly that he will help me raise the child as his own. My family knows nothing about this, nor does my ex. How should I handle the … ]]> Wed, 10 Sep 2014 02:18:40 -0500 <![CDATA[ Men’s online dating advice for women ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: “Surfing in Petersburg, Ill.” (June 17) raised good points about men who use online dating services. However, many of the things she pointed out could also be said of women who put their ads on the sites. The pickings are just as slim on our side of the fence. My hints to the “fairer sex”: 1. Don’t overdo your makeup and hair in your photos. While some makeup can enhance a lady’s look, we aren’t seeking someone who looks ready to go trick-or-treating or perform as a clown in the circus. 2. Decent men don’t want to … ]]> Tue, 09 Sep 2014 02:18:03 -0500 <![CDATA[ She wants to leave flowers for late sister ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I lost my sister in a brutal murder several years ago. I was too emotionally upset to view her body or go to the trial. As a result of not having been physically connected to her passing, I have lacked closure all these years. I believe I am finally ready to face the reality and deal with it now. As part of the process of moving on, I would like to say goodbye to her at the last place I remember her living, which is the house she spent so much time and effort on and where she … ]]> Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:08:41 -0500 <![CDATA[ Broken promise leaves sister bereft ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: Twenty-three years ago, my husband and I lost our firstborn son. As my husband was active-duty military, we could have buried him anywhere in the United States. At the time, we were in a place where my sister swore to me she would always live, and she would always be there to take care of him. I knew with my husband’s career we had many more moves ahead of us, and it helped to ease the loss knowing that he would be taken care of. Well, that lasted all of three years. My husband and I are now … ]]> Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:08:03 -0500 <![CDATA[ Lover looks for way to re-ignite passion ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m in desperate need of help. I have been with my girlfriend for four years. With every long-term relationship, there are bound to be issues. I haven’t felt loved by her in a long time, and I think I have fallen out of love with her. I can’t even tell her that I love her anymore because I don’t want to lie. When we make love, it’s dull and boring. I want to feel the way I used to about her. When I was near her, my hairs used to stand up, my heart would race, my body … ]]> Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:07:50 -0500 <![CDATA[ Pet lover, pet hater are not compatible ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I have been dating “Chris” for almost five years. He’s my high school sweetheart. We still live with our parents, but we feel we’re ready to move out and start our lives together. The issue is I have a cat (“Silky”) and a dog named “Chips”; Chris can’t stand them. He has said he doesn’t want Silky to live in our home and he would make her an outdoor cat. He also doesn’t want Chips to come with us because Chips can be whiny and vocal. I feel it’s my responsibility to take my pets with me when … ]]> Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:07:31 -0500 <![CDATA[ Mother’s snoring creates a problem ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: My son’s out-of-town wedding is coming up. My mother will attend and be traveling with me. I am single, and my mom is also single. She’s planning on sharing a room with me. Abby, my mom has a severe snoring problem, and I’m a very light sleeper. I cannot sleep with a snorer! I don’t want to ruin my time at my son’s wedding, and she’s upset about the added expense of another room, which neither of us can really afford, but I don’t know what else to do. — Mother of the Groom Dear Mother of … ]]> Thu, 04 Sep 2014 02:21:41 -0500 <![CDATA[ Grandparents feel left out by in-law ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: My son married an educated professional woman from another country. When their twins were born, my daughter-in-law immersed them in her native language so it would become their mother tongue. Although I understand and respect the benefits of being bilingual, this caused a lot of communication gaps and frustration between us and the grandkids during their early years. They attend a bilingual elementary school now, and their English is superb and communication between us is great. The problem is, when we are together, my daughter-in-law speaks to her children exclusively in her native language. My son understands … ]]> Tue, 02 Sep 2014 02:15:52 -0500 <![CDATA[ Day care provider verbally abusive ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My neighbor has a registered day care business, and every day I hear her screaming at young children and infants. They are all 4-year-olds and younger. We live in a rural area outside a small town. She uses profanity and says mean things to them. It makes me want to cry when I think of how scared those kids must be. Who do I contact with this information? I could record her with my phone if evidence was needed to shut down her business. This woman has a really bad anger-management problem. She also knows I can hear … ]]> Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:06:41 -0500