Chicago Sun-Times

Asking to bring wedding guest violates etiquette

Fri, 17 May 2013 15:25:20 -0500

Dear Abby: I took care of my husband for 10 years before his death from early-onset Alzheimer’s. I am in a relationship now, and I’m finding that a widow’s status is far different than that of a wife. Not long ago, I was invited to a friend’s daughter’s wedding. When I asked if I could bring “Sam,” I was told, “No, we don’t know him and there are a lot of other people we would like to invite.” I got the same response from my first cousin when I asked if I could bring Sam to her son’s wedding: “No, …

Don’t make your woes your child’s problems

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:22:23 -0500

Dear Abby: I am the mother of a 5-year-old daughter I’ll call Mandy. Her father and I separated when she was 16 months old and now we are divorced. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man and very happy. I have just learned that my ex is having a baby boy with a woman he has stated he does not love and isn’t even in a committed relationship with. I would like to protect Mandy from any pain this might cause her because she is a Daddy’s girl. How should I deal with this and maintain my composure regarding …

Drivers need to know RVs can’t stop on a dime

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:08:40 -0500

Dear Abby: It’s vacation time again, time to hit the road in the RV. Please make your readers aware that people driving motor homes, towing fifth-wheel trailers and travel trailers cannot stop as quickly as a small car or truck. When people cut in front of an RV or a large truck and slam on their brakes, it puts many people’s lives in danger. There is a reason we leave that large space between our RV and the vehicle in front of us. It provides us room to stop as well as the ability to see what’s happening in the …

Dead-end relationship must be called off

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:28:45 -0500

Dear Abby: I am a divorcee with college-aged children. I love my children, and I thought I loved my ex. However, after my divorce I wonder if I’m capable of loving anyone other than my children again. Two years after the divorce I started a relationship with a man who is 10 years older. He had recently ended a long-term dating/living together relationship. I wasn’t particularly drawn to him, but he was very persistent. We finally, jokingly, agreed to be “exclusively casual” and began dating. My children don’t dislike him; they are indifferent to him. We have been dating for …

Make use of Friends and Family Health Kit

Tue, 14 May 2013 13:23:45 -0500

Dear Abby: When friends and family get together, the conversation often turns to the subject of health. They swap stories about the medications they may be taking and the lifestyle changes they’re making to improve their health. They look to each other for support and tips to get through the flu or a nasty case of food poisoning, and rely on each other’s experience to tackle challenges like quitting smoking, managing heart disease, diabetes, menopause or conquering insomnia. To help your readers support their loved ones through these health issues and many more, the FDA’s Office of Women’s Health and …

She doesn’t like sex, but gets plenty offers

Mon, 13 May 2013 15:00:34 -0500

Dear Abby: I am a woman in my late 40s and I hate sex. I always have and always will. I’m disabled, and it has always been torture. I never got any positive benefits out of it. My problem is I get hit on constantly. I tried marriage once, more for financial reasons than anything else, but I couldn’t wait to get out. I’m single now, own my own home, and the men in this town (married and single) all seem to think I’m fair game. They’re convinced that I’m in need of satisfaction because I don’t date or have …

Not Grandpa’s place to force name change

Tue, 14 May 2013 08:11:00 -0500

Dear Abby: My wife’s niece is marrying a wonderful man of Greek descent this summer. Her grandfather insists that his last name is too long and impossible to pronounce. He thinks they need to change the name when they marry. He went so far as to make them call him so he could tell them what he wanted. Then he gave them 10 days to “think about it” and call him back with their answer. He told the mother of the bride that if they don’t change the name, then he’s “just not into the wedding anymore,” implying that he …

Wedding gift note goes over like lead balloon

Sat, 11 May 2013 23:35:55 -0500

Dear Abby: My husband and I attended the wedding of the son of some old friends in another state. Rather than buy the young couple a gift, we instead gave them a check for $1,000. Imagine our astonishment when a month later the following arrived in our mailbox: “Dear ‘Loretta’ and ‘Evan,’ “Thank you for the generous donation. We really enjoyed spending that money. If ever you feel like you have too much of it, we would gladly take it off your hands. “Love, ‘Mason’ and ‘Candace’” Abby, my husband and I have worked hard for many years in our …

He wants diamond back after in-law dies

Thu, 09 May 2013 17:55:34 -0500

Dear Abby: My partner and I have been together 23 years and his parents have embraced me as one of their own. A few years ago, we bought his mother a beautiful diamond cocktail ring for Mother’s Day. She’s now 84, and when she passes on, I’d like that ring back to have it turned into a ring for my partner. It’s a gesture I’m sure would please him, and I hope his mother as well. I believe she’s leaving her jewelry to her granddaughter, which is fine. But this particular ring will mean so much if I turn it …

12-year old should get help for fits of crying

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:37:34 -0500

Dear Abby: I am a 12-year-old girl who is happy, healthy and doing great in school. But lately I have felt sad, lonely and just plain frustrated. I used to talk to my parents about it, but I don’t feel comfortable doing it anymore, and my friends don’t like listening to me. I have tried hard to push back these feelings, but it is putting a strain on me. Sometimes I break down crying and can’t stop. Most people think it’s just my age, but it’s not. It’s more than that. I want to talk to a psychologist, but I’m …

Parents in denial about young son’s behavior

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:57:15 -0500

Dear Abby: I am a long-time reader but a first-time writer. My problem has been bothering me for some time now. We have a grandson who is 4 and very much a “princess boy.” He likes girl toys and dresses and doesn’t like any of his boy toys. We’re at a loss about how to handle this. He’s an adorable little boy and we love him to pieces. His parents don’t accept this behavior, and I’m afraid it will affect him now and in the future. How would you handle this? We don’t say anything to his parents because they …

Think friend is having affair? Stay out of it

Wed, 08 May 2013 15:09:36 -0500

Dear Abby: I have a friend who I believe is having an affair. I have no concrete evidence, only a slew of circumstantial evidence such as odd work hours, blocks of mystery time set aside at night in his cellphone’s day planner, and evading questions about texts from females. I have no idea how to approach him, or if I even should. I wouldn’t know how to begin the conversation with him because I have no solid proof. I always considered him to be a decent individual, but in the back of my mind now I’m thinking, “He’s cheating on …

More than 100 tasty recipes in cookbooklets

Tue, 07 May 2013 15:24:47 -0500

Dear Abby: My husband came up to me after dinner, wrapped his arms around me and asked, “Honey, is there anything we need to discuss?” In his hand he held an envelope on which I had written your name and address. When I told him it was a request for a copy of your cookbooklet — not a request for marriage counseling — he was relieved. We have been “cooking up” a wonderful life together for 10 years. Somehow, I managed to misplace your cookbooklet. I have read that there is now a set of two of them. Would you …

Many would not allow lottery to ruin marriage

Mon, 06 May 2013 15:05:52 -0500

Dear Abby: I’m responding to your request for comments about the letter from “Happily Single” (Feb. 13) and whether a divorce would be the first course of action upon winning the lottery. In a community-property state, a divorce AFTER winning wouldn’t legally protect you from having to share the spoils with your soon-to-be (and probably now bitter) ex-spouse. My husband and I have talked at length about what we’d do if either of us won the Powerball jackpots, and no, divorce was not on the list. We’d start by consulting a lawyer/financial planner to find a way to protect our …

Turn off speaker phone, give grandma privacy

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:16:54 -0500

Dear Abby: My granddaughter and her boyfriend live in another state, and I love hearing from her. However, when I call her, she always puts me on speaker phone, which I find rude. I have never met her boyfriend and don’t feel he should be in on everything I may talk to my granddaughter about. I think she’s forming a bad habit. Am I wrong for feeling this way? — PRIVATE GRANDMA IN FLORIDA DEAR PRIVATE: I don’t think so. Not every word that comes out of your mouth should be community property. The next time it happens, all you …

Shouldn’t wed until she accepts his baggage

Thu, 02 May 2013 17:18:37 -0500

Dear Abby: I’m a 60-year-old woman with grown children. My husband and I divorced after 30 years of marriage because he met someone at work. It was a quick process, and because I was in shock, I agreed to the terms of the divorce even though they weren’t in my favor. Two years ago I met a very nice man who treats me with respect and love. He wants a future for us, and so do I, but I can’t get over one thing: He has two illegitimate children — one he didn’t even know about — and although the …

Tell dad his constant touching is unwanted

Fri, 03 May 2013 10:29:21 -0500

Dear Abby: I’m a 13-year-old girl who has been trying to give my father a second chance. I was taken away from my parents when I was 8 because they were on drugs. I haven’t seen my father for three years, but now that he’s living with my grandparents and me, I decided to give him a second chance. He has been very “hand-sy” with me -- giving me massages, kissing my cheek — and this all makes me very uncomfortable. I thought it was because he hasn’t seen me in a while, but today as I was leaving to …

Must not give in to controlling parents

Thu, 02 May 2013 15:56:09 -0500

Dear Abby: I’m 29 and for 10 years I have been struggling with controlling parents. They have cut two of my sisters out of their lives because they live closer to their spouses’ parents. My husband and I are full-time students, ex-military and taking advantage of the G.I. Bill. We’re looking for jobs, but my parents have threatened not to speak to me if we take jobs closer to his parents. I’m trying to be fair to both sets of parents, but we can’t stay unemployed because of this issue. We have a family to support. I tried reasoning with …