Chicago Sun-Times Latest news from the Chicago Sun-Times Online en-us (Editor) Newspapers Chicago Sun-Times 84 34 30 Copyright 2014 <![CDATA[ He wants friends to remember his wife ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I was married to a wonderful woman who passed away five months ago after a heart attack. Why do people act as if the one who has passed away never existed? Please talk about her. Talk about her often. Tell me good things about her. If you wonder about the right thing to say — and I believe all mourners should hear it — here it is: Tell me my wife loved me, tell me I made her happy, tell me she knew I loved her and knew she made me happy. Repeat it as often as you … ]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2014 09:42:29 -0600 <![CDATA[ Frugal sister tired of family’s teasing ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am a single woman who raised three kids on one average income. They are all grown and on their own now. I still save and have a tight budget, but now I can spend some money on travel. I have opportunities to travel with friends and do it as often as I can afford. The problem is my brother-in-law and sister love to tease, and they tell everyone that I’m “the rich sister.” Abby, I am far from rich. I have asked them both to stop and told them their teasing hurts my feelings — that I … ]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2014 22:01:03 -0600 <![CDATA[ Daughter sleeping with sis’ husband ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I recently found out my daughter has been having an affair with her sister’s husband. This will tear our family apart. It will also have a huge impact on my grandchildren. I have not yet told my wife, who will be devastated, but I’m having trouble carrying this burden alone. I feel they should be held accountable. Should I look the other way, or make them responsible for their actions, knowing the hell it will create? — Stressing in the USA Dear Stressing: What an unfortunate mess. Please do not assume that you are responsible for any damage … ]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2014 22:00:48 -0600 <![CDATA[ Woman picks veggies without permission ]]> Lead story image

D ear Abby: I live in a 55-and-older mobile home park. Because my coach isn’t huge, I have a nice little backyard where I have a small vegetable garden and a lovely lemon tree. One day while I was tending my garden, the woman who lives behind me came over to say hello and admire my vegetables. When she saw I have Swiss chard growing, she exclaimed, “Oh, I will have to pick some because my daughter loves it!” I was dumbfounded. She has room to plant her own little garden, but never does. She has helped herself to lemons, … ]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2014 22:00:36 -0600 <![CDATA[ Tardy job-seeker should play it cool ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I was recently fired from my job for chronic tardiness. I have worked at this business for four years, and although I knew my lateness was seen as a problem by my boss, it was still a surprise. Now that I’m back in the job market again, I’m wondering if I need to mention my previous tardiness on employment applications. I asked my mother, who has been privy to this whole mess. She thinks I should mention it and explain that I have learned my lesson — especially when applying to a different branch of my former company … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:41:53 -0600 <![CDATA[ Fears she has OCD, afraid to tell parents ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m 13 and I’m afraid I may have OCD. I want to find out, but what’s standing in my way is that sometimes my parents think I make stuff up to get attention. I’m afraid to tell them, but I know if I do, it will answer my question. Can you give me some advice? —Anonymous in Ohio Dear Anonymous: Be brave and talk to your parents about your fears. They are your best friends, and you should be able to talk to them about anything — particularly anything that bothers you. However, before you do, make a … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:41:21 -0600 <![CDATA[ Mom too interested in adult son’s sex life ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: How much interest in an adult child’s sex life is normal? My mother seems obsessed. I hooked up with a girl a couple of months ago on a Friday. She spent most of the weekend with me. We both knew it wouldn’t go further than that. It turns out she works with my mom, who by chance found out about the weekend. Mom has been interrogating her for every detail every chance she gets, and she likes to drop details into my daily life to embarrass me. How much interest is a parent supposed to show? Mine knows … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:41:05 -0600 <![CDATA[ She want to trash his ex’s belongings ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Ron,” and I have been together for more than a year, and we now live together. His garage is full to overflowing with his ex-girlfriend’s belongings. She apparently left him and all her stuff — including her four cats — to marry some guy she met online. She no longer lives in this country. I’m fine with taking care of the cats; they are innocent and I love them. However, I want her stuff out of the garage. Ron thinks it’s “the right thing to do” to keep it until she can arrange for it to … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:40:52 -0600 <![CDATA[ Don’t panic over kids playing doctor ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: Last weekend some family members were at my mom’s house for a meal. My 6-year-old son and my cousin’s 4-year-old daughter were playing in the room my mom had set up for the grandkids. When I went to check on them, I noticed the bathroom door was closed, so I knocked. My son answered, sounding rather panicked. I asked if “Jenny” was in there with him. He said no, then opened the door, but he looked scared, as if he knew he had done something wrong, and glanced nervously at the closed shower curtain. Sure enough, there was … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:40:37 -0600 <![CDATA[ Is 30-year age gap problem for couple? ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am a widow who has fallen in love with a wonderful man who is almost 30 years my junior. He proclaims his love for me every day, and I know it’s real. I have been warned by others to be aware of “devious males on the make for comfortably situated widows.” After discussing it with the man, I have determined this is not his motive. Right now, we’re good friends who love each other’s company. If marriage is in the future for us, I’m afraid of the age factor. He is not. Could you comment and give … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:40:21 -0600 <![CDATA[ Mom-to-be skipping in-law’s wedding ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My husband and I are pregnant with our first child. We are beyond excited and can’t wait for our little one to get here. Our problem: My mother-in-law is getting married two weeks after our baby is supposed to arrive, and she’s expecting all of us to go. While I’m happy she has found someone she wants to spend her life with, I will not be there and neither will our child. I have told my husband this and explained my concerns, but I will support him if he decides to go since it’s his mother. How can … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:40:06 -0600 <![CDATA[ Boxers or briefs? His choice, not hers ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I’m a 50-year-old man in a relationship with a woman who is 42. She says I need to trade in my briefs for boxer shorts because they are outdated and “nobody wears those” anymore. She also told me only 9-year-old boys wear tighty whities and they are a turn-off. I have always worn fly-front briefs. I don’t like boxers because I find them uncomfortable. What can I do to fix this problem? She will not look at it from my perspective. — Likes it Brief in Florida Dear Likes it Brief: Really? If you allow this woman to … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:39:53 -0600 <![CDATA[ Parents upset she has no college plans ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I am a junior in high school and will graduate in the first semester of my senior year. Someday I would like to be a stay-at-home mom. I have no interest in going to college. I feel it would be a waste of money for me to go when I don’t intend to use my degree. To say my parents are disappointed in me over this is putting it mildly. They have a life planned for me that includes college. I would also like to move away to somewhere where it’s warm year-round, and they don’t like that … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:39:39 -0600 <![CDATA[ Offer to help early for Thanksgiving ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I would like to share some advice with your readers from someone who has volunteered in shelters for many years. 1. Please do not volunteer on Thanksgiving. It’s the day most people volunteer, and there are always more volunteers than homeless people. 2. If you want to make donations, please drop them off a few days before or a few days after. It will allow the shelter time to store all the donations and to take an inventory of what is still needed. 3. Shelters need not only food, but also paper goods … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:39:27 -0600 <![CDATA[ Husband refuses to stay with his family ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: My four girls and I recently moved from Texas to Florida to help out my in-laws. My husband, “Jeff,” made a big deal about not wanting to move without a job, so he stayed behind. Now I feel like a single parent, and even though I hide it from my daughters, I am depressed. I haven’t been able to find work, and Jeff says he doesn’t want to come here for several more months. My husband and I have been together 14 years, and this is tearing me up inside. He seems to be treating this issue as … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:39:14 -0600 <![CDATA[ Thank-you notes worth the effort ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: The issue of thank-you notes comes up often in your column. May I share how I learned to write them? When I was young, my mother asked me one day why I was so resistant. I said I hated addressing them and I never knew what to say! It was overwhelming to me. Mother taught me some phrases such as, “I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” and ways to close like, “I hope to see you again soon.” She gently reminded me that the sooner I wrote, the easier it would be to express words of gratitude. She also made … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:39:00 -0600 <![CDATA[ No rush to tell dates of your weight loss ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: I had weight-loss surgery three years ago. I am down 100 pounds and feel great. I’m new in the dating game and wonder if I’m supposed to disclose that I was previously 100 pounds overweight. Is it any of their business, or do I not address the topic?  — Less of Me in California: Dear Less: I don’t think your health history needs to be announced right from the “git-go.” As people date, get to know each other, become comfortable and eventually intimate, more and more information is revealed. When it’s appropriate to discuss it, you will know. … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:38:45 -0600 <![CDATA[ She thinks friends shouldn’t have baby ]]> Lead story image

Dear Abby: May I have some advice about a touchy subject? One of my boyfriend’s close friends is going through his third bout with cancer, and the prognosis is not good. He is married with a healthy 3-year-old son. So imagine our surprise when his wife announced she’s pregnant. This is a decision we do not support. I don’t know what they’re thinking, but if you are facing the reality that your spouse will not be around much longer, we don’t feel it is wise to bring another child into the world who will never know his or her father. … ]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:38:32 -0600