THANK ME LATER
BY THOMAS CONNER firstname.lastname@example.org November 20, 2012 11:28PM
Updated: December 22, 2012 6:18AM
Remember how much you hated “Friday”? Better bite a turkey leg —Thursday is even worse.
The latest song so horrible we can’t stop circulating is “It’s Thanksgiving,” a game but lame attempt at crafting a pop song about America’s harvest holiday.
The “artist” is some bland young thing named Nicole Westbrook. The writer and producer is Patrice Wilson, the Jigsaw-esque villain who also crafted “Friday” for Rebecca Black.
Amazingly, “It’s Thanksgiving” is worse than “Friday.” Its substance, as you might imagine, is just a wafer thin, and by the end of it you’re gonna need a bucket.
The video of the 12-year-old singer has gotten nearly 10 million views since it was released Nov. 7 — and has more dislikes than likes. Many of the 90,000 comments are not kind.
The video shows the blemishless girl in a blemishless suburban house, making a meal by pouring a lot of processed food out of sacks.
Sigh. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, probably because it’s such a music-free zone. Warmth, thanks, fatty feasts — it’s not an occasion that begs for pop music. Plenty of good, applicable songs exist, but it’s not a hit zone. WLIT isn’t going all-Thanksgiving music.
But there’s plenty of music to enjoy as the family gathers, and here’s a humbly submitted Spotify playlist for your potato-mashing pleasure:
1. “The Gathering,” by Will Ackerman
2. “Thank God for Hometowns,” by Carrie Underwood
3. “I Will Give Thanks,” by the Red River
4. “Thanksgiving,” by Poi Dog Pondering
5. “Over the River and Through the Woods,” by Julia Lane
6. “Kind & Generous,” by Natalie Merchant
7. “Give Thanks & Praises,” by Bob Marley & the Wailers
8. “Thank You,” by Dido
9. “Thanksgiving Day,” by Ray Davies (Alas, Spotify doesn’t have everything, but Davies’ sublimely grumpy, British take really belongs here.)