Kevin Trudeau in September 2013. | Sun-Times Library
Updated: January 9, 2014 6:38AM
Kevin Trudeau is still in jail.
Talk about your feel-good stories.
We don’t normally admit to visceral satisfaction when somebody gets locked up, even if we feel it. The story is usually too grim and tragic or, as in the case of former Gov. Rod Blagojevich, just pathetic.
But this Trudeau fellow. Here’s a goof who’s really had it coming and maybe that’s the problem — he doesn’t understand that everybody knows he’s got it coming. The jig is up. He’s fooling nobody.
Here’s a man who sits in jail because he refuses to reveal where he has stashed millions of dollars in ill-gotten gains from the sale of a bogus dieting book, and what does he say to the judge? If he is not freed, he says, he “may never see” his “parents alive again.”
We are reminded of the old joke about the man who kills his parents and then begs the court for mercy because he is an orphan.
U.S. District Judge Robert Gettleman was not moved. Did Trudeau honestly expect otherwise? Does Trudeau not understand that your typical federal judge is a tad less gullible than the suckers who bought his TV pitch for a miracle weight-loss cure?
Trudeau is in jail because he owes $38 million for violating a court order when he lied in his TV ads. He keeps saying he’s broke, but the Federal Trade Commission and an accountant appointed to find his money keep turning up another bank account or two connected to him.
It’s “like burying loot from a heist,” Judge Gettleman said to Trudeau on Thursday. “You wait your sentence out, then go dig up the loot.”
Maybe it’s time the pitchman pitched his pitch.