Congratulations! You have won zip
By NEIL STEINBERG nsteinberg@suntimes.com January 31, 2012 3:56PM
Updated: March 2, 2012 8:16AM
If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I would have bet it was just an urban legend.
The phone at home rang. I looked at the Caller ID and it read, “PHONE SCAM.”
They’re getting bold, I thought, picking up the phone. A canned voice talking about some mortgage refinancing deal. I hung up.
Every day, as we navigate our increasingly electronic world, we push our way past a gantlet of crooks, scammers and frauds, all trying to slip their fingers in our pockets.
Nothing new. It used to be through the mail, or door-to-door “Paper Moon” con men in checkered suits pushing pyramid schemes. Three-card Monte. Shell games.
At least most con men besetting us now are in Nigeria and Russia, at least judging from the come-ons that gather by the hundreds every day in my junk email bin.
I was having these thoughts as I came into the office this morning. The message light on the phone was glowing cherry red.
“Hi, this is Richard Hugh with the Price Distribution Center, calling you in regards to the contest that was entered some time back in hopes of winning our brand new SUV. Well, the contest is officially over, we are looking at your entry, we have very good news for you, what we need to do is give us a buzz toll free here in the office . . .”
I didn’t enter any contest and immediately noticed the canned call didn’t say I had. Nor did they say I had won. “Some very good news.” Probably regarding mortgage refinancing.
But no need to guess. I phoned back.
“Gimmee one moment I’ll be right with you, thank you,” a living human voice said.
Music. A noodling piano. Strings.
I wonder what this constant barrage of slick trickery does to us. Makes us more cautious, one hopes. Someone must fall for these things though, vulnerable, lonely men wiring money to the love of their lives in the Ukraine, old ladies who think that finally, finally luck has broken their way, in the form of a brand new SUV. I asked for Mr. Hugh.
“Mr. Hugh isn’t here now. Can I have your first and last names so I can look you up?”
Rule No. 1 is never give any information over the phone to anyone who calls. But for journalistic purposes I gave my name and phone number — you can’t empty a person’s bank account with that alone. Can you?
While I was waiting I went to the attorney general’s website. Sweepstakes and promotions schemes are the fifth most common source of consumer complaints in the state of Illinois — 1,689 complaints in 2009.
After 10 minutes on hold, I called back.
“Where am I calling?” I asked.
“I’m not going to reveal where we’re located for security purposes,” the same guy said, then asked: Was I married? Over 28? The owner of a credit card and earning more than $50,000 a year? No big secret.
“You qualify” he said, “At a time share presentation, you’ll scratch the presentation ticket.” And where is it? “In Gurnee, Illinois.”
He said I’d either get a 2012 Ford Escape, $2,500 in cash, a two-night stay plus airfare at a variety of exotic spots, or a 32-inch Toshiba flat screen. He didn’t mention “TV.”
He gave me four times over the next two days to go, warning me not to be late, or I’d forfeit my prize. He gave me my special code — SMLPZM — then had me spell it back.
He said it was sponsored by something called Anchor Bay and gave me an address on Tri-State Parkway in Gurnee. Bring my wife and a credit card.
“This is only to make sure the right person will get awarded,” he said. Of course.
The Better Business Bureau reports six complaints about Anchor Bay Vacations in the past three years — not an avalanche, but something — and while I doubt any of this is illegal, I’m not rushing to Gurnee to get my new SUV either. Scams are in the air.
“This is probably the worst I’ve ever seen it, with sweepstakes scammers,” said Steve Bernas, president of the BBB of Chicago. “So many people think it’s a dream come true. These dreams turn into nightmares.
“If you have to go to a time share come-on, then you have not won anything,” he continued. “They’re going to do some high pressure selling. How many people are going to go, and one person may win a car or maybe not. Consumers do not understand what they are getting themselves into.”
Repeat after me: There is no free lunch.
