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In new book, infamous Chicago madam kisses and tells all

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Updated: December 1, 2012 4:25PM

The madam’s memoir . . .

She had sex with one of Chicago’s triumvirate of top mobsters, a plethora of politicians and a cadre of comedians.

Infamous Chicago madam Rose Laws, whose autobiography, “Gold Coast Madam,” hits bookshelves next month, is talking,’ squawkin’ and sort of squealin.’ Laws ran a prostitution business for more than 30 years that was headquartered in Chicago. Her prostitution ring, “The Circuit,” flourished nationwide in the late ’90s and early 2000s, until she was arrested in 2003. Laws, now in her late 70s and living in Florida, served 22 months in prison after pleading guilty to racketeering. At least 13 other people were arrested and charged in connection with the business.

Laws notes her sexual liaison with mobster boss Joey “Doves” Aiuppa; talks about a major Chicago politician who liked to wear the longline bra worn by one of her girls; says she slept with a two-time Oscar nominee she refers to as a “shark”; tossed parties with federal judges; arranged dates for a famous Las Vegas magician; maintained a party place on Schiller Avenue with way too much traffic and had a police escort to one of her parties arranged by a police chief.

She also claims her clients were mainly “normal” people who just wanted sex and companionship; that she had a relationship with an NFL honcho, and she had several former pro football players as her clients.

“Three of them were terrible to my girls. On a date, they all got in a hot tub together. These men held my girls’ heads under water. . . . The girls almost drowned from this stunt!”

The book harks back to the advice of a “psychiatrist” she had been seeing, who she claims told her: “Since you are not educated, you will never make enough money to support five children. I recommend you go out and find yourself the wealthiest man you can find. Ask him to support you and your children. In fact, go out and get three men. That way you will never fall in love. Make sure they are married.”

The book, which titillates with first names and initials, also includes this anecdote: “A famous basketball player . . . had a big party. He rented the entire floor of a hotel and made an appointment for two of my best-looking girls to entertain his guests. I sent the girls and, when the date was over, they called to say that he wouldn’t pay.”

Troop movements . . .

Tipsville: Sneed is told Gov. Pat Quinn is pushing the Illinois Department of Emergency Management and the Illinois National Guard to coordinate a relief effort in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

◆ Translation: Illinois will be sending whatever help is needed — including National Guard personnel — to hurricane-ravaged states on the East Coast in the coming days.

The Hillary file . . .

Card tricks: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton celebrated her 65th birthday playing cards with her hubby, Bill; daughter, Chelsea, and Chelsea’s hubby, Marc Mezvinsky, at the Mayflower Inn in Washington, Conn. — and unexpectedly crashed a wedding party at the inn to wish the newlyweds well.

The cad file . . .

Marital vomitus: Levi Johnston, the cad who kissed and told and made money doing it, was reportedly very upset his 4-year-old son, Tripp, with Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s daughter, was not permitted to attend his wedding last weekend to the mother of new daughter Breeze Beretta. Johnston, who married girlfriend Sunny Oglesby in Wasilla, Alaska, told the media he’s really in love this time. We can now all breathe a sigh of relief.

I spy . . .

Actors Connie Britton, Carla Gugino and Steve Harvey all spotted Saturday at RL Restaurant . . . ditto Ryne Sandberg at lunch. Also spotted: Jonathan Toews at Hub 51 on Thursday night and Patrick Kane at RPM Italian and Paris Club on Friday.

Sneedlings. . .

Tuesday’s birthdays: Henry Winkler, 67; Grace Slick, 73, and Gavin Rossdale, 47.

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