Jocks show how to deal with armed thugs
Mendenhall, Walker, Curry know it doesn't pay to resist
If for some stupid reason you were in a fighting mood and you saw Antoine Walker or Eddy Curry or Rashard Mendenhall in the vicinity, you wouldn't pick a scrap with one of those big athletes, would you?
Well, maybe Curry if he happened to be near a backboard in a rebound situation. (Kidding!)
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But that's the thing about thugs with guns: they're instantly "tougher" than even the biggest guys.
Walker, Curry and now Mendenhall have been robbed at gunpoint in the Chicago area. By all accounts, none of the three tried to be a hero.
Smart. And if the oversized athletes know better than to tangle with somebody pointing a gun at them, it's a lesson we should all keep in our back pockets.
Why does it feel more and more like Sen. John McCain is going to defeat the eventual nominee from the Democratic side, whether it's Barack or Hillary?
Consider the battle from Obama's or Clinton's viewpoint. It's like you've prevailed, just barely, in a bloody, bruising, knockdown-filled heavyweight championship fight -- and now you have to fight the next day against a guy who won in a three-round knockout many months ago.
When baseball announcers talk about a hitter "maturing," they're generally referring to the guy learning to lay off the outside breaking ball, or showing a willingness to move the runner over to third with nobody out.
The other kind of maturing, not so much. Some baseball players are men; many others are overgrown boys. You play a kid's game into your 20s and 30s and even into your 40s in some cases, and there's going to be a disconnect there.
This is not to excuse the White Sox for that idiotic blow-up doll fiasco.
It just shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who follows the game. After all, we're talking about a sport in which rookies are still routinely forced to dress in women's clothes for team bus rides and even flights as part of a hazing ritual.
Yucks abounding with that one.
And this week's Thanks for the Mental Image We Could Have Done Without winner: Barbara Walters.
I mean really.
So now we're told Mayor Daley was deliberately calling Ellen DeGeneres "Helen" and that she was in on the joke.
All of a sudden we've got Mayor Ashton Kutcher at the helm.
So does that mean Daley is also just kidding when he pronounces "basically" as "basicky?"
Then again, I've mispronounced "wunderkind" and "reprise" on TV, among other words, so who am I to talk.
So to speak.
Something to keep in mind as you see all those news stories about sharks biting humans:
You have a better chance of getting struck by lightning while on your way to the Emmys where you've been nominated, than you do of getting bitten by a shark.
OK I just made that up, but it sounds about right.
Even though Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" isn't the "official" theme of the superhero -- there's insanely passionate debate on the Internet about whether it's even based on the comic book -- it's still one of the best superhero songs of all time. (Even if it's not about a superhero. It IS featured over the closing credits to the mega-hit movie "Iron Man.")
So what's the WORST superhero song of all time?
There are many, but you can't go wrong (right?) with the "Mighty Thor" theme:
'Cross the rainbow bridge of Asgard
Where the booming heavens roar
You'll behold in breathless wonder
The God of Thunder, Mighty Thor!
Great, thanks for stopping by.
As for the theme song, superhero or otherwise, that's just about impossible to get out of your head after you've heard it:
Here he comes. Here comes Speed Racer, he's a demon on wheels.
Headline from the Superficial Web site on Tuesday:
Scarlett Johansson is Engaged, Busty
Sometimes the headline really does tell us all we need to know.
