Here's the spin: State to be a No Blow Zone

Energy drink maker says it's just parody of drug culture -- no joke

Illinois is to become a No Blow Zone. Last week, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan sent a letter to the Las Vegas manufacturer of the energy drink called Blow, demanding that the company cease marketing and sales in Illinois.

"The product, which is currently sold online, is packed in 'bricks' and vials that can be purchased in combination with a fake VIP Blow credit card," said a press release from the attorney general's office.

From the Associated Press: "Blow creator Logan Gola of Kingpin Concepts, Inc., says he's just spoofing and mocking the drug culture."

Right. The Web site with the half-naked babes, the packaging with names such as "The Fiender's Hook-Up" and "The Stash Box Sampler's Pack," the marketing of T-shirts and thong panties that say, "I LOVE BLOW" -- that's Second City and "Saturday Night Level" level parody, my friends.

If you were really "spoofing and mocking" real blow, wouldn't you call your product "Bleeding from the Nostrils," or "Alarmingly Rapid Heartbeat Followed by Bouts of Raging Paranoia"?

Newsweek: Jeremiah Wright was "a major reason -- but by no means the only reason" Oprah Winfrey stopped attending the Trinity United Church of Christ.

Citing two sources, Newsweek says "Winfrey was never comfortable with the tone of Wright's more incendiary sermons, which she knew had the power to damage her standing as America's favorite daytime talk show host."

A "longtime friend" says, "Oprah is a businesswoman, first and foremost. She's always been aware that her audience is very mainstream, and doing anything to offend them just wouldn't be smart."

Nothing like a friend that says you make religious decisions based on how it might affect your ratings and image. For whatever reason, Oprah's not there any more -- and as usual when it comes to such private matters, she's not talking about it to the media.

Which is par for the course when Oprah is in the news.

Think about it. Even though Winfrey's one of the most famous and most beloved women of our time and she has made many a personal revelation on her show, on some level it feels as if we know reality bimbos like Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag better than we know Oprah.

Remember the autobiography that never happened? I'll be surprised if Oprah ever writes a tell-all that reveals as much as the new Barbara Walters book.

We see her on her TV show, on the cover of her magazine, at public events. She's got the Web site and the satellite radio channel and the gift shop and the charity causes and the prime-time reality show, and much more.

Yet somehow we don't know the most private side of Oprah -- how she really feels about the man in her life, the friends in her life, the God in her life. Do we?

And for that I say, good for her. I don't know how she's managed to keep a semblance of a private life when it comes to certain private matters, but good for her.

On the other hand . . .

Got this promotional e-mail on Monday:

"Items from a bag of Britney Spears' trash went up for sale on eBay courtesy of the guys at HollywoodStarTrash.com.

"Among the items of interest: an Ed Hardy thong [size small], fan mail, a receipt for the Hustler store, a dog leash and a discarded toothbrush . . ."

One can only hope all those items weren't used simultaneously.

"The HollywoodStarTrash.com guys are the same folks responsible for racking up thousands of dollars from trash collected outside the Paris Hilton estate."

In other words, these guys are just like rats -- only they profit from their garbage-picking, whereas rats just eat the crap.

"The Star Trash guys are also in development on a . . . feature film documenting their journey."

That should be some movie. So much for Erroll Morris winning the Oscar for his Abu Ghraib doc.

My regular schedule has me in the Sun-Times Monday through Thursday, with the occasional "extra" column.

It's a great sked, but it can be frustrating if something happens on a column day off -- or if I'd like to jump in on breaking news with a quick one-liner.

Enter Twitter. I am adding text messages to my home page -- everything from thoughts about the Sox to breaking news to comments about the latest movies to what's happening in my world. To find out how to get these updates, go to the Sun-Times Web site and click on my column home page for instructions.

Texting one two three . . .