Sarah Palin questions whether military attack was a “squirmish”
BY RICHARD ROEPER firstname.lastname@example.org March 29, 2011 7:00PM
Updated: September 24, 2012 6:25AM
Here’s how the ultraconservative news site NewsMax.com described Sarah Palin’s Monday night criticism of President Obama’s address to the nation:
“Are we at war? I haven’t heard the president say that we are at war. And that’s why I too [don’t know] do we use the term intervention, do we use war, do we use skirmish?”
Problem is, that’s not quite what Ms. Palin said. What she actually said on Fox News was, “[D]o we use the term intervention, do we use war, do we use squirmish?”
Squirmish! I love it.
The Palininstas out there will point out that Obama (like everyone else) occasionally fractures the language but the “lamestream media” doesn’t pounce on that, and by the way “squirmish” appears in the Urban Dictionary, and everyone knows what Palin meant and why are we focusing on a simple slip of the tongue instead of the worst president in history and blah-de-blah, but come on: “squirmish” is fantastic. In fact I’m thinking it SHOULD be a word.
It’s a perfect description of one’s hesitancy to get into a dispute over an awkward situation. “I don’t want to get into a squirmish with my kid about his latest Facebook posting.” “My boss overheard me dissing him. Boy did that lead to a squirmish.”
Well played, Sarah Palin. Well played.
Elsewhere on the no-chance-to-be-the-Republican-nominee front Monday night, Donald Trump did a phone interview with Fox News Channel. The Donald had a mediocre connection — he’s worth a billion and he can’t get a decent landline? — and he yelled into the phone like a senior calling from Del Boca Vista to report THE WEATHER IS JUST GREAT as he rattled off his conspiracy-theory questions about Obama’s birthplace.
On Tuesday, Trump released his official birth certificate to ABC News after the document Trump had provided to NewsMax was revealed to be a certificate of live birth, which is not the same thing, and can’t we all acknowledge that both Obama and Trump were born in the USA and move on?
That sound you heard was a small but considerable percentage of birthers chuckling at my naivete. I can see the same old questions (all of which have been answered) rolling in already.
My question for the birthers: Do you have any evidence, any evidence whatsoever, that Obama WASN’T born in the States? I mean, all these years and all this effort questioning the Hawaii “story,” why not devote some time and resources to uncovering the supposed truth?
A hotel with a conscience
Don’t you love it when your hotel tries to guilt you into reusing your towels or not having the bed linens changed?
They usually print a card (on thick, environmentally unfriendly paper) with a message along the lines of, “We here at the Overpriced Hotel & Resort are committed to energy and resource conservation and saving the planet for future generations, including the children of the billionaire who inherited this franchise. If you would like fresh towels because you’re selfish and you don’t share our philosophy, simply leave them on the floor of the bathroom as if you were a drunken 18-year-old on spring break. If you DO care about our world, drape the towels over the tub.
“If you would like the bed linens changed every day because you like to pretend you’re royalty when it’s more likely you’re a middle manager in a dying profession, fine, Place this card on the pillow and we’ll see what we can do.”
Hey, I’m as committed to the environment as the next guy, especially if the next guy is a NASCAR driver. But every time I see one of those notes, I feel leaving a note of my own saying, “Here’s an idea. Why not lower the rates from $245 to $225 a night, and I’ll donate the difference to environmental causes? In the meantime, I wouldn’t mind if you’d give me a fresh, threadbare towel to replace the wet, threadbare towel I’m leaving on the floor. Thanks!”
This one’s on us
Actual information card from a hotel I stayed at recently:
Dialing Information & Rates:
Room to Room: NO CHARGE
Long Distance & International: Applicable Toll + 40% Surcharge
911: NO CHARGE
Nice to know if you’re having a grabber and you need immediate help, it’s not going to result in an extra room charge.