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Fake Twitter Rahm has thousands of fans, including real Rahm

Updated: September 24, 2012 6:25AM

Dear Fake Rahm Emanuel:

The timing is right to reveal yourself.

In the Twitterverse, there are two main Rahm Emanuels — the actual candidate for mayor, and the guy or gal who’s been doing an extended, obscenity-riddled, hilarious impersonation of Rahm on Twitter since last September.

This guy is dedicated. We’re talking nearly 1,700 Tweets, most of them “Not Safe For Work.”

The real Rahm Emanuel’s Twitter account (@RahmEmanuel) is a friendly and unremarkable listing of events to come and events just passed:

“Starting today at 7:30, Rahm will visit all 50 of the city’s wards in 50 hours. We’ll be tweeting his stops ward by ward — stay tuned!”

“Spent a great day talking to voters and thanking our volunteers on the South Side.”

The fake Rahm Emanuel’s Twitter account (@MayorEmanuel) sounds like the “Saturday Night Live” version of Rahm crossed with comedian Lewis Black with a sprinkling of Joe Pesci’s “Goodfellas” character:

“This is the first m------------ morning in a hundred years where I’m not going to end up frozen to a commuter while shaking hands at the El.”

“By all means, let’s take time to talk about a m------------ children’s f------ museum. That seems f------ useful.”

“Drinking the Carol Marin: bourbon, lemon syrup, bitters, sparkling wine. Delicious and it’ll kick your f------ ass.”

Real Rahm has just over 7,100 Followers on Twitter.

Fake Rahm has 25,000.

There’s been a lot of speculation in the media about who’s behind the Fake Rahm account, with guesses ranging from a local comedian to a journalist to someone in politics to Rahm himself. (Now that’d be rich.) Whoever it is, he/she has a wicked sense of humor, a firm grasp on insider politics, a thorough knowledge of the Real Rahm’s schedule — and probably a bit more passion for coffee, booze and music than the Real Rahm possesses.

On Tuesday afternoon, when I asked Emanuel on the “Roe/Roeper Show” on WLS-AM about his evil doppelganger, he laughed and said, “After the election, I am offering a donation to the charity of that man/woman’s choice, If they will come forward and identify himself. $2500 or $5,000 to the charity of that individual’s choice if they will make public who they are.”

Emanuel said he gets a kick out of Fake Rahm and he often hears from people who said, “I just read your Tweet” when in fact they’re reading Not-Rahm.

“Whoever’s writing it has garnered a huge following,” said Emanuel.

Certainly Fake Rahm could continue with the performance monologue on Twitter. But at some point don’t you want to reveal yourself and get credit where credit is due, maybe parlay it into a gig of some kind and a few bucks — and now a charitable contribution from your source of inspiration?

Whoopi gets it wrong

Did you see where Whoopi Goldberg went on a tirade on “The View” because she wasn’t mentioned in a New York Times article about the lack of recent Oscar nominations for black actors?

“It’s hard not to take it personally,” said Goldberg, who brought her Oscar for “Ghost” onto the set.

“People in Somalia know [I’ve won an Oscar]. People in China know ... I am a worldwide person who’s known. You’re supposed to be better than this. This is not some newspaper from Hoochie-Coochie Land. ... Dammit, get your facts straight!”

Elisabeth Hasselbeck said she was canceling her subscription to the New York Times in protest. (The real upset there is Elisabeth Hasselbeck had a subscription to the New York Times in the first place.)

The only problem with Goldberg’s outrage is she wasn’t slighted in the first place.

It’s not as if the New York Times listed all the black actors that have won Oscars and left her name off the list. The focus was on what has happened since 2002, when Denzel Washington and Halle Berry won. As the Times noted, there were only seven wins by blacks prior to 2002 (Goldberg was one of the seven), but since then, five more trophies have been awarded to African-American actors. The Times article didn’t mention other black actors such as Cuba Gooding Jr. and Louis Gossett Jr. that won prior to 2002.

Goldberg said she was “dismissed and erased by the New York Times film critics.”

That’s simply not the case.

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