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Bristol Palin counter-punches critics

Updated: April 19, 2011 5:10AM

Say this much for Bristol Palin — she’s always ready to counter-punch.

Keith Olbermann, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, even Facebook hecklers — they’ve all felt the harsh sting of a return volley from the “Dancing With the Stars” competitor.

At a show for U.S. troops, Griffin cracked that Bristol “was the only contestant in the history of [DWTS] show to actually gain weight” and said Palin was “like the white ‘Precious,’ ” thus attaining a comedic  trifecta — not knowing your audience, making an obscure reference, and being unfunny.

Of course, the troops booed. Memo to Kathy Griffin: Soldiers during wartime tend to be a fairly conservative bunch.

In a statement to Fox News, Bristol noted, “The audience’s reaction to this ‘comedian’ spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her too.”

Palin also responded quickly after comic and fellow “DWTS” contestant Margaret Cho blogged this conspiracy theory:

“I heard from someone who should really know [really should seriously know the dirt really really] that the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it. Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly [in the circles I heard it from] for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol that she ‘owed’ it to her to do DWTS so that ‘America would fall in love with her again . . .’ ”

What a big wheelbarrow of horse manure.

The notion that anyone voted for Obama/Biden and against McCain/Palin because of Bristol’s pregnancy is ludicrous. Since when did voters start basing their decisions on such family matters? Have you SEEN the Clinton and Obama family trees?

Also, how does one “force” a grown woman to participate in a dance competition show? Threaten to send her to her room if she doesn’t rumba on national TV?

In case Cho hasn’t noticed, Sarah Palin hasn’t exactly fallen out of favor with her fan base since the 2008 election. What with the TV shows and the books and the speeches, Palin’s about 10 times the star she was two years ago.

Bristol by TKO

Bristol Palin also lashed back at MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann after Olbermann called Bristol “the worst person in the world” because she’s promoting abstinence even though she’s a single mom.

Olbermann’s right in saying abstinence isn’t the most practical solution, but Bristol wins by TKO for pointing out the obvious — that those who have made mistakes, whether it’s a recovering drug addict or alcoholic or a teenager who got pregnant, are often the best teachers.

(Sidebar: I know it’s comedic exaggeration, but there’s something so smug and mean-spirited about a segment called “The Worst Person in the World.”)

In all three dustups, I side with Bristol.

Or should I say, Bristol’s ghostwriter?

Facebook Bristol or Statement Bristol?

There’s such a marked difference between the statements attributed to Bristol Palin and the raw copy she typed out when she was in a Facebook spat with hecklers.

Statement Bristol:

“[Olbermann] accusing me of hypocrisy is by now, an old canard. What Mr. Olbermann lacks in originality he makes up for with insincere incredulity.”

Facebook Bristol:

“You’re a typical s--- talker. Talking s--- cause you have nothing else going for you.”

Statement Bristol:

“I thought [DWTS] would boost my confidence — and it did. Notably absent from my calculus were political considerations . . . It is this type of hurtful and false narrative that people promote to make my mom look bad.”

Facebook Bristol:

“It looks like you’ve gained some weight yourself there chunk . . . you have nothing better to do than run your mouth . . . Haha you’ve always been such an awkward kid, funny how you grew balls via facebook :)”

More Facebook Bristol:

“That doesn’t even make sense you dumbass. And I’m successful because I’m a hard ass worker. Keep talking s--- though . . .”

No wonder we see headlines such as, “Bristol Palin hits back at critics, but who is doing the talking?” and, “Bristol Palin to Margaret Cho: ‘Have you met my ghostwriter?’ ”

If Bristol Palin’s actually penning those official statements, might I suggest someone record the process and post it on YouTube.

If there’s a ghostwriter involved, he/she needs to do a better job of actually sounding like Bristol.

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