Headscarf pull is mean, but it's not a hate crime
Prison time would be overkill for anyone guilty of a Stupid Crime
Maybe we should come up with Stupid Crime legislation to cover alleged misdeeds that might not be hateful but are certainly stupid.
Problem is, at least half the crimes on record could fall into that category.
A 54-year-old woman has been charged with a hate crime for allegedly pulling on the headscarf of a Muslim woman in a Tinley Park Jewel store two days after the Fort Hood shootings.
Valerie Kenney is accused of approaching Amal Abusumayah at the cash register and tugging on the headscarf.
Well if that's what happened, that's stupid and mean. But if we call that a hate crime, does that cheapen the definition of a hate crime?
Abusumayah says she felt compelled to report the incident because she doesn't "want this to happen to anyone else." The Council on American-Islamic Relations called for an FBI investigation. Kenney could be sentenced to as much as three years in jail and hit with a $25,000 fine if convicted.
Overkill.
Look, if Kenney did what she's accused of doing, it was a nasty thing to do, and it's certainly a Stupid Crime. I don't want to minimize the alleged incident.
But jail time? How about an apology, forgiveness, some kind of community service and everybody moves on?
When Sarah Palin gave that bizarre, rambling press conference last July to announce she was quitting as Alaska governor because she's not a quitter, she said she polled "the most important people" in her life -- her children.
Here's what Palin said: "In response to asking, 'Want me to make a positive difference and fight for all our children's future from outside the governor's office?,' it was four 'yeses' and one 'hell yeah!' The 'hell yeah' sealed it, and someday I'll talk about the details of that."
I thought that story was odd, given that the youngest of Palin's five children was only 15 months old at the time. My guess is baby Trig didn't actually say "yes" or "hell yeah" in response to Mommy's question about whether she should become a superhero who will fight from the outside in.
Now we have conflicting accounts from Palin about another supposed family vote.
As CBS News and Andrew Sullivan have pointed out, Palin can't get her story straight about the circumstances of her selection as John McCain's running mate.
In an online-only exchange from Palin's appearance on "Oprah," Winfrey asked Palin if there was a family vote on whether Palin should accept McCain's offer, and Palin replied:
"This time, there wasn't a family vote. Other steps in my political life, I've polled the kids, and I have abided by some of the results of the polls that the kids have partaken in. This time, no."
That's not what Palin told Sean Hannity of Fox News in September of 2008.
"Was there time to huddle and have a hockey team meeting?" asked the fawning Hannity.
Palin: "It was a time of asking the girls to vote on it, anyway. And they voted unanimously, 'yes.' Didn't bother asking my son because . . . he's going to be off doing his thing anyway . . . so asked the girls what they thought and they're like, 'Absolutely. Let's do this, Mom.' "
But here's what McCain's communications director said in August of 2008 about the selection process:
"While [at the Manchester Inn and Conference Center in Middleton, Ohio], Governor Palin's children, who had been told they were going to Ohio to celebrate their parents' wedding anniversary, were told for the first time that their mother would be a nominee for vice president of the United States of America."
We're not talking about a pivotal moment in history -- but one of Palin's stories has to be an outright fabrication. She told Hannity she put the decision to a partial family vote; she told Oprah there was no such vote.
One way or another, Palin seems awfully comfortably spinning these bull - - - - stories about family votes.
Chicago Police said a middle-aged man died Tuesday after collapsing at the Bijou Theater on Wells Street in Old Town.
Of all the places to die.
As the Tribune delicately put it on its Web site, "Open for 40 years, the Bijou Theater is known for its explicit gay adult films, according to its Web site."
Fans of the old Steve & Garry radio show know this; they used to play recordings from the Bijou's answering machine, with detailed descriptions of the titles and plots of films playing at the theater.
I don't know if there are any terrestrial radio hosts who would have the, um, gumption to play that stuff in 2009.