It takes closing Boul Mich to see Oprah here
Her name's synonymous with Chicago, but she's rarely around
If you're determined to be a part of that "Oprah" taping today, keep in mind:
1. You will be standing. For hours.
2. There's no food.
3. You'll probably have a terrible view, but you'll be able to see Oprah on one of the oversized monitors.
4. So you'll be watching her on TV.
5. According to the guidelines on Oprah.com, there are "NO WEAPONS ALLOWED." Good policy.
6. But if you're there, you'll get a chance to hear Oprah do the big-excited intro thing in that weird voice, e.g., "Please welcome Black Eyed Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!"
How fitting that a Chicago icon who is almost never seen out and about in the city would shut down a chunk of our most illustrious avenue just because she can.
Think about it. Oprah's name is synonymous with Chicago -- but other than an occasional sighting at a health club, or maybe at a restaurant where she's dining with some celebrity who's in town for a taping, it's been many years since Ms. Winfrey was regularly spotted doing the celebrities-they're-just-like-us thing here. Maybe she was a regular at her own restaurant way back when? (For those of you keeping score at home: it was called Eccentric, and it was located in the space now occupied by Wildfire on Erie.)
Even though the media have been talking for days about the city closing a stretch of Michigan Avenue for an "Oprah" taping, you know that even as you read this, there are more than a few motorists stuck in some hellacious traffic jam downtown, wondering what in God's name is creating the delay. These are the people that pride themselves on not keeping up with the news, because the news has nothing to do with their lives, or so they believe. They'll boastfully proclaim, "Oh, I never read a newspaper or watch the news on TV, for the same reason I never vote. What does it have to do with me anyway?"
Most of Chicago, and by now most of the nation, knows that from 12:01 a.m. Monday until 5 a.m. Wednesday, Michigan Avenue between Ohio and Wacker has been turned into Oprah's personal outdoor studio, meaning Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas might have a bigger audience than Fergie of the Cubs ever had back in the day.
No doubt it'll make for some great visuals when the show airs, especially if the weather cooperates and we don't see any more of that funky fog thing downtown.
I took a stroll around the area Monday, as the setting-up process was in full stride. As far as I could tell, Oprah wasn't personally overseeing the operation, which involved an astonishing number of people unloading tons of equipment and many, many, many portable toilets.
I also saw signs for "Preferred Standing." Hey, I thought this was going to be an Oprah-ocracy!
Perhaps having learned from previous PR backlashes, e.g., all those winners of new cars having to pay thousands of dollars in taxes, Harpo says it will pay for the cost of police, traffic personnel, sanitation and related services. Of course, they're not going to reimburse any private citizens or businesses for lost time or income.
For those of us who work and live and drive motorized vehicles in the city, the only move is to keep the car in the garage. Even "insider" routes like Lower Wacker Drive could be congested. My schedule Tuesday has me going from one side of Michigan Avenue to the other, and back again, and maybe back one more time. I'll walk, or I'll see if I can commandeer that Navy Pier helium balloon and take an untethered ride above the fray.
But as motorists are pressing on their horns and downtowners are gritting their teeth about the residual traffic entanglements, let's try to keep in mind the words of Mayor Daley, who said:
"This is a great thing we're doing. I wish we could do this every day in Chicago. How many people it will employ. How much publicity we'll receive throughout the world. It is unbelievable. ... [People should] understand how important this is, dealing with jobs, dealing with international exposure." (Note: I'm quoting from a story by the Sun-Times' great Fran Spielman here.)
It's an advertisement for the city, OK. But then the mayor said: "This is really important. This is a great opportunity. I'm very proud. I wish your media outlets would do something like this. Hello?"
Hello to you too, Mister Mayor. What's the weather like on your planet?
So according to Daley, media outlets should also close Michigan Avenue and build giant stages? Great! I'd like to reserve next Thursday for a softball game, Sun-Times vs. Trib, followed by a Cheap Trick concert. Where do I sign?