Circus around Jackson's death mirrors his life
Some say he is not dead, others claim to have seen his ghost
LOS ANGELES -- The circus was scheduled to arrive a few hours before the circus was to begin.
About six hours before today's 10 a.m. (PST) Michael Jackson memorial service at Staples Center, about a dozen elephants and a number of horses from Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey were to march from Union Station to the arena.
The circus starts a five-day engagement Wednesday, the day after the tribute to Jackson. No word on whether any of the pachyderms was a lucky winner of the lottery to see the Jacko service.
It would have been an upset if the aftermath of Michael Jackson's death WASN'T filled with bizarre touches, from Joe Jackson pimping his record label to Larry King's broadcast from Neverland Ranch to the ongoing custody drama to the constant stream of reports about alleged drug abuse on Michael's part.
Police in Los Angeles were warning, pleading, practically BEGGING people to stay away from the area near the Staples Center if they weren't among the winners of the ticket lottery. Some are estimating as many as a million people will flock to the neighborhood, even though the surrounding streets will be blocked off and you won't be able to see anything other than a bunch of other people who can't see anything.
At a news conference, a police official suggested fans without tickets could watch the service on TV or in a restaurant with friends.
Or you could just, you know, go to work.
The local L.A. newscasts were buzzing with stories about some of those 8,750 fans who were chosen from some 1.6 million entrants. There was much talk of "the lottery" and "lucky winners," with many scenes of fans screaming and hugging and weeping with joy.
Of course, there's no money for these lottery winners. What you've won is the chance to attend a memorial service. Yes, it's going to be an extravaganza. Yes, you'll be telling stories about it forever.
But there's something that's getting somewhat lost in all this madness. A man died. A freakishly talented freak, a wildly controversial figure, an icon and a hero to some and a devil to others -- but he was just a man, too. As all those Jackson devotees sing his name, wait in line to sign a giant condolence "card" (who's going to read it?), weep-for-him-worship-him-praise-him, a lot of good people, from soldiers who fought in Iraq to teachers who devoted their lives to education to folks who lived quiet, decent, selfless lives, are also being put to rest this week.
Rest in peace to all.
Thanks to everyone who sent me a link to the YouTube video of Michael Jackson's ghost haunting the hallways of Neverland Ranch during King's broadcast on CNN.
Of course it's not a shadow or some homemade editing trickery. Of course it's a ghost -- the ghost of Michael Jackson! How could anyone think differently?
Also, the moon landing was faked, 9/11 was an inside job, Elvis is working as an Elvis impersonator and a hook-handed killer is still bumping off victims at the popular makeout spot in your hometown.
It won't be long before there's an entire book devoted to urban legends and hoaxes connected to Jackson.
We've already got michaeljackson hoaxdeath.com, a site dedicated to asking the question, "Is Jacko Really Dead?"
Somebody has been spending a lot of time on this one. It's filled with videos comparing the real Jackson to a supposed Jackson "imposter," long essays with crazy theories and "evidence" such as a story in which Lou "The Hulk" Ferrigno talks about Jackson's fondness for pranks.
My favorite is the "Michael Jackson Death Hoax Exclusive" video purporting to show Jackson moving in the helicopter after he "died."
"Michael Jackson's body was transported to the Los Angeles County Morgue via helicopter," reads the site. "This shows footage of his body 'sitting up' in the helicopter as it moves away. Skeptics will say his body was being moved by someone out of shot, [but] if he is dead and strapped down on a stretcher, then why would he need to be moved? This footage just confirms what we here at MJHD already believed from the start."
Actually, it looks like someone moved the body so TV cameras wouldn't see it inside the helicopter. But what do I know, I'm one of those damn skeptics.
Of course, any death-hoax conspiracy would require the cooperation of Jackson's family, doctors, advisers and lawyers; dozens of staffers at UCLA Medical Center; cops, paramedics, county morgue staffers, and many, many more.
Sure, that's possible. But if MJ is still alive, what about that ghost haunting Neverland Ranch?
I've got it: The ghost is an imposter!