Lawmakers tell the needy to take a hike
Impending budget cuts would be devastating for social services
Guess we can just throw them out on the street and see if they can survive. Step over them if they get in your way.
If the Illinois budget cuts go into effect, human services in the state will be cut in half. In half!
According to Gov. Pat Quinn's office, up to 65,000 people with addiction problems could lose treatment and some 80,000 low-income working mothers would lose child-care services.
Individuals with Down syndrome and other disabilities will lose invaluable support systems. Many social service agencies will be forced to close. Homebound seniors, battered women and children in need will be affected.
But hey, at least there's room in the budget for a dance theater, a zoo, a roof for a church, the expansion of a college campus, lights for a baseball stadium in Will County and a gazebo in Willowbrook.
Illinois: We Care.
Like a lot of Illinoisans, I was intrigued by the prospect of watching Patti Blagojevich braving the elements and dealing with fringe showbiz folk on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!"
Indeed, the first episode was cheeseball guilty-pleasure viewing at its best, from the astonishingly unfunny co-hosts cracking horrible jokes to the "Gilligan's Island" set to the faux dramatics.
We got to see Patti floating down a stream -- although to say she almost drowned is a reach, seeing as how cameras captured everything and there must have been a dozen people who could have plucked her out of the water.
Mrs. Blago also downed a tarantula, forever giving her the upper hand if the kids balk at eating their vegetables. ("You think broccoli is gross? I'll show you gross . . . ")
After the first episode, I thought I might be hooked -- but after watching parts of a few more episodes, I'm hitting "Delete" on the TiVo and giving up.
It's impossible to care about these people, even on the level that we care about characters on "Friday Night Lights" or contestants on "Survivor."
It doesn't matter if the Heidi/Spencer drama is "real" or manufactured. I'm not bothered by the debate over whether Spencer is the world's whiniest jerk or if he's playing a villain, a la pro wrestlers. Either way, he's no good at it. That's the real failure of "I'm a Celebrity . . . " Heidi and Spencer are annoying not because they're vapid, but because they commit the cardinal television sin of being predictable.
All that "controversy" over whether the couple was tortured, the meltdowns with Heidi saying, "My soul is cleansed," and Spencer proclaiming, "Jesus delivered us" -- either they're the world's worst actors, or they're chronically insincere. Either way, you don't believe a word they say. Neither one of these two could get a callback for a soap opera.
On shows such as "Big Brother" and "Survivor," we've occasionally been treated to some truly interesting, manipulative jerkoffs. They were fun to watch.
Speidi and the rest of the characters on "I'm a Celebrity . . . " are just plain dull.
Click.
In yesterday's column I made light of media reports that referred to Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird and Preakness winner Summer Bird as "half brothers," as if they were in a cartoon.
A number of horse-racing experts contacted me and said the "half brother" label doesn't apply to those thoroughbreds.
"Many people, both in and out of the horse-racing industry, believe that if a horse is sired by the same stallion they are related, [but] this is a misconception," says Andy Ulrich, who used to run the Midwest Breeding Bureau of the Daily Racing Form when it was published out of Chicago.
"Thoroughbred racehorses can only be related on the female side. Both [Summer Bird and Mine That Bird] were sired by Birdstone, but they are not related. To be related they have to have the same mother. Same mother, different sires means they are half brothers. Same mother, same sire means they are full brothers."
So, I guess that means Mine That Bird and Summer Bird are related only in that I didn't bet on either one of them.
The sixth annual Naked Bike Ride Chicago is set for this Saturday, from about 9 p.m. to midnight.
"This international event is bare as you dare," they say. "Anything from body paint to fanciful costumes to street clothes . . ."
The slogan for the World Naked Bike Ride is, "Celebrating the end of oil and the beauty of people."
Sincere cheers to that and to everyone who has the courage to bike naked through the city at night. I think I'd rather eat a tarantula with Heidi and Spencer.