Wayne and Garth, meet Rod and Roland
As Burris goes from obscurity to dubious fame, SNL pounces
What if I told you five months ago that Roland Burris would be the target of satire on a "Saturday Night Live" skit at some point during the 2008-09 season?
What odds would you have given me against such an occurrence? A thousand to one? A million to one?
A few months ago, your butcher was about as likely as Roland Burris to be satirized by "SNL" -- but there was "Burris" (played by Keenan Thompson, who was funny but didn't sound all that much like Burris) on the opening skit on the first "Saturday Night Live" of 2009, explaining to Amy Elliott's "Rachel Maddow" how and why he made the journey to Washington, D.C., even though he had been told he wouldn't be sworn in.
"I went on priceline.com and I found myself a very reasonable ticket on Southwest Airlines," said Thompson/Burris, who repeatedly reminded viewers that he was a former comptroller and thus qualified for office.
"Burris" went on to explain how he was removed from the Senate multiple times "because my credentials were not in order" and was also tossed from a happening nightery -- because, of course, his credentials were not in order.
"Gov. Blagojevich" [Jason Sudeikis] also appeared in the skit -- garnering instant whoops and applause from the studio audience, who recognized the trademark Blago hair and sweat suit.
You know, there was a time when Chicago and Illinois were famous for providing talent to "Saturday Night Live."
Now we're better known for providing material.
I zipped through most of the remainder of my Tivo'd "SNL" -- but there was another skit that caught my attention. Host Neil Patrick Harris was playing Mark from "Rent" in a sketch in which famous characters from long-running productions had gathered to figure out a way to deal with the dark economic news on Broadway.
It wasn't fall-down funny -- but it was a smart, amusing bit with cast members (and musical guest Taylor Swift) doing spot-on takeoffs on everything from "Cats" to Blue Man Group to "Wicked" to "Chicago."
"Still relevant," cracks "the Phantom" sarcastically, after the Stomp guy bangs his garbage can.
In five minutes, the skit showcases a number of cast members, makes some pretty strong points about WHY so many Broadway shows are in trouble and produces three or four good laughs. Led by the talented Kristen Wiig -- who seems to be in nearly every sketch -- and featuring reliable players such as Bill Hader and Will Forte, and newcomer Abby Elliott (daughter of Chris Elliott of "Letterman" and sitcom fame), this "SNL" cast seems to be one of the stronger teams in recent years.
Continuing with the surreal on the Illinois political front, Sunday's New York Times had this headline:
One pictures Blago reading that headline and saying, "Who you calling an Iambic Anglophile, you [BLEEPING BLEEP]!"
From the story: "Impeached, indicted and feeling alone, Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich has found some unlikely friends: dead poets. . . . Mr. Blagojevich has invoked the words of 19th century poets at the end of two memorable news conferences . . . it is theater of some sort -- part tragedy, part comedy, part political poetry slam."
It's crazy-ass bull----, is what it is.
Memo to the governor: If you're trying to sound increasingly narcissistic, delusional and arrogant, keep quoting poetry. Stand there with the photo-op group and rattle off some Kipling, some Tennyson -- maybe a little Dice Clay next time.
But if you're trying to connect with the average Illinoisan who's watching at home, wrong move. Nobody's sitting there, clicker in hand, saying, "You know, hon, Blago makes a good point via his reading of Tennyson's 'Ulysses.' It's the same argument I was making with my buddies at the Guzzle-and-Belch the other night."
The whole poetry thing is so bizarre, even for Blagojevich. What's he doing--typing "dead 19th century poets" on Google?
He also has to be spending some time actually memorizing these passages, maybe even practicing his delivery as he stands in front of the mirror, brushing his hair and contemplating which sweat suit he's going to wear on his morning run.
Then again, Blagojevich has also compared himself to Richard Nixon, and to the protagonist of a short story titled "The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" -- a criminal who runs while in prison.
Perhaps he should also start researching, memorizing and quoting Dr. Freud.