Video shows pastor is a lost soul
BY RICHARD ROEPER firstname.lastname@example.org May 23, 2012 10:16PM
Updated: July 3, 2012 9:24AM
If you’re a true man of God, imagine all the sins and sufferings of the world that must keep you up at night praying.
All the children of the world who don’t know what it’s like to drink clean water and get a decent meal.
All the violence committed against women, children and men.
All the sickness, all the injustices, all the governments’ oppression of their people.
All the harm humans do to one another.
When you’re preparing your sermon, what will you talk about?
Why, gay marriage, of course!
Pastor Charles Worley of the Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C., is drawing national attention for the viral video of a sermon in which he calls for rounding up gays and lesbians and putting them behind an electrified fence so they’ll “die out” in a few years.
Gee, why don’t we have this mastermind plotting military strategy for the country? He’s a genius!
Pastor in need of marbles
“I’ll tell you right now, I was disappointed [by the president’s stance on gay marriage],” says Pastor Worley.
“The Bible’s again’ it, God’s again’ it, I’m again’ it and if you’ve got any sense you’re again’ it!”
Apparently, the Bible is also against too much use of the letters “s” and “t.”
More from the pastor:
“I figured a way to . . . get rid of all the lesbians and queers, but it [won’t] get past the Congress. Build a great big large fence . . . 100-mile long, put all the lesbians in there, fly over and drop some food.
“Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals . . . and you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce!”
Well. That’s some big thinkin’ right there.
For a moment let’s leave behind the worlds of logic, sanity and compassion and enter Pastor Worley’s vision of the universe. There’s just a minor flaw in his master plan of rounding up the gays and letting them die out: Tens of millions of gays and lesbians are born TO STRAIGHT PARENTS.
He’s gonna have to build a bigger fence. Best to just put all the babies in there and wait for ’em to turn 12 or so, and then we can test them for gayness and decide what to do with them.
It’s an upset that this guy knows how to tie his shoes and find his way to church every Sunday. Because that is one dumb and lost soul.
Q-and-A with RR
1. Did Will Smith overreact by lightly pushing and slapping that Russian “reporter” who tried to kiss him?
No. What was Smith supposed to do? Some clown on the red carpet tried to make it all about him with a goofy stunt — and Smith reacted accordingly. I’d like to see the goofball try that stunt on Mike Tyson or Sean Penn or Russell Crowe.
2. Are we surprised Miley Cyrus is out there talkin’ about “magical” sex and hitting the Billboard Music Awards in a wardrobe/hair/makeup ensemble that appeared to be a tribute to Sharon Stone circa “Basic Instinct”?
Hardly. She’s 19 going on 40. But hey, you showbiz parents out there, you keep chasing that dream of your kid becoming the next 14-year-old Disney star or pop sensation. I’m sure YOUR daughter will handle it much better than Miley or Lindsay Lohan.
Although in Miley’s defense, her views on sexuality are infinitely more sophisticated and grounded in reality than the opinions of that North Carolina pastor.
3. If Memorial weekend moviegoers are looking for an under-radar-gem, what’s the best option?
“Bernie,” starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine and Matthew McConaughey. The phrase “wickedly funny” was coined for movies just like this.