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One Million Moms anti-Ellen, anti-gay stance insanely out of touch

Updated: March 17, 2012 10:26AM

Right off the bat, I don’t believe the One Million Moms organization has a million moms.

Prove me wrong, Million Moms. Show me proof you’re a million mom-strong and I’ll share your evidence with the readers.

And then I’ll shudder, and then I’ll pray. Because if there really are more than 1 million mothers that believe JCPenney should fire Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson, wow — that’s a serious amount of bigotry right there.

“JCPenney Offends Traditional Families Again,” reads the headline from One Million Moms — an offshoot of the misnamed American Family Association, which should call itself, “If Your Family Doesn’t Fit Our Definition, We’ll Judge You.”

“Recently JCPenney announced that comedian Ellen DeGeneres will be their company’s new spokesperson,” reads the manifesto from One Million Moms. “Funny that JCPenney thinks that hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their businesses when most of their customers are traditional families. More sales will be lost than gained unless they replace their spokesperson quickly. . . .

“DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JCPenney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.”

Really? If the majority of “traditional” families would boycott JCPenney over the Ellen issue, imagine the vast roster of stores, designers, movies, TV shows, automobiles, etc., etc., those same families would have to avoid in order to be consistent with the thought process of the One Million Moms.

Come on. If you’re anti-gay, what are you doing listening to Lady Gaga, who’s pro-gay? How can you justify watching any of the hundreds of TV shows and movies created by and/or starring homosexuals? And you better check all the labels on your clothes so you can throw out anything that was designed by one of the gays.

DeGeneres issued a statement about the controversy that read in part, “Here are the values I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me those are traditional values.”

Geez. She’s so gay.

Astonishing ignorance

Commentators from Bill O’Reilly to Howard Stern have defended Ellen. O’Reilly compared the campaign to McCarthyism. Stern talked about a recent Rolling Stone article detailing a horrific rash of teen suicides and some astonishingly obtuse policies regarding gays in Michele Bachmann’s district. This led to a classic Howard rant against Bachmann and Rick Santorum.

In an email to supporters, Bachmann said “the direction that America is headed requires serious discussion by serious people, and Howard Stern is not a serious person.”

That’s true. He’s a funny person — a funny person who believes everyone should be treated equally, that politicians and “family” organizations should stop obsessing over gay issues and think about focusing their energies on the real obscenities of the world, like children going to bed hungry. (Why are they never as offended by starvation as they are by “Glee”?)

It’s amazing. Here were are in 2012, and we still have organizations and politicians ignoring the reality that homosexuality is not a “lifestyle choice.” These bigots rely on selected passages from a book that was written by men in an entirely different world to justify their fear and loathing for all things gay.

There’s no doubt — none — that decades and centuries from now, those who fought against equal rights for gays in the 21st century will be regarded with the same head-shaking wonderment as those who fought against civil rights in the 1960s, or a  woman’s right to vote in the early part of the 20th century. Future generations will read about the One Million Moms and the Bachmanns of the world and say, “How could they have been so obviously wrong and so insanely out of touch?”

In “The Help,” set in the early 1960s, the villainess believes whites and blacks should have separate bathrooms because blacks carry “different kinds of diseases” that could easily spread if you let the maid use the family bathroom. In Bachmann’s home district in the 2010s, a school district’s policy prohibited teachers from even acknowledging homosexuality so as not to “encourage kids to try it, turning straight kids gay,” Rolling Stone wrote.

One of the anti-gay organizers in Minnesota recently wrote a letter to the editor saying, “Open your eyes, people. What if a 15-year-old is seduced into homosexual behavior and then contracts AIDS?”

How is that woman any less foolish and ignorant than the fictional racist in “The Help”?

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