Election looks like a 7-10 split between Hillary, Obama
News Headline: ''Obama, Clinton spar on eve of crucial primaries.''
To review the issues:
• • Barack Obama is the one who can't bowl.
• • Hillary Clinton is the one who can't pour a cup of coffee.
We'll have to let the voters sort this out.
News Item: Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) condemns Chinese government for human rights abuses including massive domestic spying, torture and other acts ''against international conventions.''
QT Public Service Reminder:
Outbreaks of irony can occur anywhere, at any time, without warning.
QT Economic Indicator of the Week:
A man robbed a Goodwill Store this week in Davie, Fla.
Passing the Time Until The Day After Tomorrow (cont'd):
China and India are building 775 new coal-burning power plants.
Bill Clinton regarding the people who keep fainting at his campaign appearances:
''At my age, I didn't think I could make anybody faint anymore.''
Clinton underestimates himself. He is still capable of making people drop their jaws and even gasp.
And he makes it look so easy.
Cindy Sheehan speaking out again about the Bush administration's invasion and occupation of Iraq:
''Hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars were unnecessarily spent, and worse yet, too many of our most precious military resource, our American soldiers, were unnecessarily wounded, maimed and killed as a result. In my mind, this action by the Bush administration amounts to gross incompetence and dereliction of duty. . . .''
Then again, what do you expect from?
No. Wait. Those are the words of retired Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, senior commander in Iraq during the war's first year.
Sorry.
K.W., a Denver reader, regarding QT's wondering if Rush Limbaugh has found his soul mate in Roseanne Barr, who joins him in dreaming of riots at the Democratic National Convention, writes:
''Have you ever seen Rush Limbaugh and Roseanne Barr in the same room together?''
You're not saying . . . nah . . . they couldn't be the same . . . then again, it would explain a great deal. . . .
QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of Jesus has been found in a rust spot on the right rear fender of 1967 Volkswagen Beetle in Bolivar, Ohio.
News Item: Iraq's Supreme Board of Audit rejects request for cheaper fuel for American soldiers, saying 'America has hardly even begun to repay its debt to Iraq' and adding, 'This is an immoral request because we didn't ask them to come to Iraq, and before they came in 2003, we didn't have all these needs.' "
Be careful to stand back. Just in case any more flowers are strewn in our path.
QT Summer Travel Advisory:
The Florida Legislature adjourned its 2008 session without passing a bill to make bestiality illegal.
QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash 6 feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) Monthly Update:
There has been a 360 percent increase in ''earthquake activity'' at Yellowstone over last month.
But rest assured, the rate of ground deformation uplift remains steady.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A man in Kirksville, Mo., went into a Wal-Mart, took the price sticker from a bottle of water, placed it on an LCD TV and attempted to purchase the TV for $3.16, police said.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language (cont'd):
A.W., a Wellesley, Mass., reader, writes:
''What do you call words that can mean two opposite things? I dust the furniture to clean it. I dust the cookies with powdered sugar.''
There are five words that mean a word that means the opposite of what it means: autantonym, contranym, contronym, antilogy or enantiodrome.
Choose your favorite.
QT is confident the list is complete.
It comes from the language experts who are responsible for the oversight of our usage.
Well, that is, unless there have been any oversights.
