The rites of citizenship
Vintage Royko | Chicago Sun-Times | May 18, 1979
Whatever happened to the people, places and issues that columnist Mike Royko went after — or championed — during his legendary run? Today and in coming days, we’ll check back in with some of Royko’s best columns and get you up to speed.
Alfred Wojdyla had finished work and was waiting under a streetlight for a bus at Ashland and Milwaukee. That's when Angel Gonzalez and a couple of pals came sauntering down the street, looking for something to do and someone to do it to.
They looked Alfred over and he seemed a likely prospect — not very big, about 5 feet 5 inches and 130 pounds, and neatly dressed, which meant he might have a few dollars in his pocket.
They glided up to him and stood one on each side and Angel in front.
"Hey, man," said Angel. "How about some money?"
Alfred hasn't been in this country very long, about two or three years, and he hasn't picked up much English.
So he responded in Polish. Loosely translated, he said: "Go away."
Angel and his pals bridged the communication gap by grabbing Alfred's arms and lifting his wallet from his pocket. Then they took off running, two of them going north and Angel going south.
Alfred is about 40, but his wind and legs are in good shape, so he hoofed after Angel and caught him about a block away, grabbing a handful of Angel's flowing hair.
They wrestled around a bit, then Angel broke away and took off again. And again Alfred caught him.
This time, Alfred started throwing punches, mostly wild left and right roundhouses. Angel responded with fast footwork and quick jabs. Neither man landed any punches, but they stirred up the air pretty good.
Just then, a police car happened by. The cops got out and said: "Awright, what's going on here?" Angel, looking indignant, said: "Hey, this guy's causin' trouble." The cops turned to Alfred and asked him for an explanation. Alfred, calling on his limited English, said: "He chasem me, he catchem me." The police put both men in the squad car and went to the Wood Street station, where they questioned them further. Again, Alfred said: "He chasem me, he catchem me." And he added: "Wantem portfolio," referring to his wallet. "What portfolio?" the cops asked. "He chasem me. He catchem me," said Alfred. So the police wrote up their reports and filled out some forms. They gave Alfred a piece of paper and said he could leave. A few days later, Alfred stopped to see a neighborhood lawyer, Ray Rysztogi, who speaks Polish. He told the lawyer what happened, then showed him the piece of paper the police had given him. "You dummy, you told them he was chasing you." "No, no, no," said Alfred. "Yes," said the lawyer. "You got it backwards." The lawyer called one of the cops and asked if any charges had been brought against Angel. "No," the cop said. "Angel said this guy did something to him so he chased him." "What about his wallet?" "He didn't say anything about a wallet. He said something about a portfolio — not a wallet. We didn't see any portfolio." "Didn't you have anybody who could translate Polish?" the lawyer asked. "No, but his English was OK," said the cop. On the court date, Alfred showed up. But Angel didn't. Angel is no dummy. He already had the wallet, so why should he bother trying to put Alfred in jail. Later, Alfred's lawyer asked him about the personal papers and ID cards in the missing wallet.
Alfred is an efficient person. And he proudly explained that immediately after the robbery, he went to the various agencies and got duplicates of his missing papers.
Among the places he went was the immigration office to report his green card being missing. He is not yet a citizen, but he was hoping to be sworn in soon.
He gave the lawyer the paper he had shown the immigration people.
"You showed them this!" the lawyer asked.
Alfred nodded.
"Oh, no! What did you show them this for? This is the arrest report. It shows that you got in trouble with the police. This could foul up your citizenship."
The lawyer contacted the immigration authorities, and they told him that a question had arisen about Alfred's worthiness. He had been arrested.
The lawyer explained that Alfred was the victim, even though he had been arrested, and that Angel was the criminal, even though he had not been arrested.
Fortunately, the immigration people are familiar with the Chicago legal process and that made sense to them.
So Alfred probably will become a citizen soon, assuming he doesn't figure out what actually happened to him and decide to go back to Poland.
If Alfred is going to become a citizen, he had better start working on his English. And for starters, I would suggest he memorize this sentence, which any sensible Chicagoan learns at an early age, if he is to survive.
So repeat after me, Alfred:
"Honest, the OTHER guy did it."
The mistaken arrest didn't sour Alfred Wojdyla's dreams of becoming a U.S. citizen -- he went on to become naturalized and also learn English. "He did learn the language, but it was difficult for him," said Barbara Daley, his stepdaughter. "He got much better at it, but he preferred speaking Polish." He also eventually preferred Poland. He returned there for his final years, dying in his native land about eight years ago, Daley said.