Every deck has its aces and kings
By JOHN W. FOUNTAIN December 11, 2013 5:12PM
Updated: January 14, 2014 12:18PM
A female reader writes in response to last week’s column, “I read your article in Thursday’s paper and I must say that I was deeply moved. I am at a point in my life that love (real/true) just isn’t in my deck of cards. Everything you mentioned in your viewpoint is so true from what I have experienced. Thank you for your uplifting words . . .”
Dear daughter, keep the faith. There are aces and kings, even in your deck. Reshuffle. Be still. Don’t settle. And throw out the jokers.
A male reader writes, “Hi Mr. Fountain. I read your article about real men . . . Though I agree with most points, my concern is that you appear to also buy into the American societal belief that men are the problem. The reality is that (the) majority of women don’t respect themselves!
“Not only that, by pointing out all these inadequacies in men, you’re neglecting that women also need to step their game up and be women! You don’t totally let women off the hook, but you aren’t holding them fully accountable . . . I’ve worked in the nightlife industry for some time now and I can honestly tell you that women are the least behaved of the two sexes.”
Dear brother, are you serious? Du-u-u-ude . . . I wouldn’t exactly call you a fool. But your words are dripping with foolishness, with sexism and the kind of blame shifting that seeks to let men off the hook. To that, to you, and especially to all those trifling and irresponsible brothers out there, I’d say, “Man up!” And also “Put up or shut up!”
As a man, I have witnessed that men quite often — too often — are the problem. The point in my writing was to help my daughter — and others — avoid the snakes, bums and other assorted no-good-for-nothings of the male species.
There is clearly good and bad in both sexes. I want my 11-year-old son to become the kind of man I would want for my daughter. And I want my daughter to be the kind of woman I would want for my son. I want both of them to be accountable, good and decent, responsible human beings.
Writes another reader, “I am a daughter that has been disappointed by her father. I am a daughter that has been raised by a strong mother and a ‘matriarchal’ family. I have graduated from college, found my career path . . . I have had bad boyfriend after bad boyfriend. Reading this article was a huge wake-up call for me.
“I have been treated horribly by men. But I still believe God is sending my mate. So I decided to focus on myself and work on my goals . . . I will read this every day to remind myself of how valuable I am.”
Dear daughter, some men have a hole in them so deep that they are incapable of loving themselves, let alone anyone else. You are invaluable. Never stop loving you.
A father writes: “John, I just finished your article. I have a 12-year-old daughter and I am worried sick about who she may end up with down the road. It seems that there are no real ‘men’ left in this world, especially this new generation. I will print a copy of your column and refer to it frequently when searching for some advice. Great piece . . . Thank you.”
No, brother, thank you.