15 years later, she finds he’s not man she thought he was

By Cheryl Lavin

February 3, 2014 9:24AM

Updated: March 18, 2014 4:15PM

Erin was 29 when she fell in love with Kenny. They dated long distance for months. He constantly asked her to marry him, but the timing was off. Erin was divorced, with two young children. She was going back to school to get a degree. “I was in no hurry to uproot my children, sell my house and change schools. I told him he would have to be patient.”

Well, things in Erin’s life settled down, and she told Kenny she was ready to marry him. He was no longer ready to marry her. They broke up although they continued to talk on the phone. After six months, Kenny decided he had screwed up. He loved her. Would she move in with him?

“I said no. A month later I met someone else.”

Erin wound up spending the next 81/2 years with this new guy. During those years, Kenny married someone else. Erin continued to hear about him through Kate, a mutual friend. It was Kate who told her that Kenny was getting divorced and had asked if she was still with that guy or if she was dating anyone else. Kate told him no.

“To make a long story short, he called before Christmas. He had moved out of state and we talked for hours. The years melted away. We e-mailed three and four times daily. We joked with each other. He asked me to go to Vegas with him for four days over New Year’s. He’s also been sending me information on a Hawaiian cruise over Valentine’s Day.

“Now the trip is planned, and I’m very nervous. I’m still in great shape, but I am not 29! A lot of things have changed since I last saw him. My kids grew up. I own my own company and travel the world. So far, it’s been an exciting five weeks. It will be great to get back our friendship, and who knows what else may come of it.”

Well, New Year’s has come and gone. Erin is back from her trip. How was it? How was Kenny?

“In a nutshell, he was nice but cheap. I finally snuck a cheeseburger at 1 a.m. in our hotel fast-food forum on the way back to our room on New Year’s Eve because I was starving. We never had any dinner that night.

“I found out that he’s an alcoholic and very into himself. It appeared that he wanted a blond bimbo to look pretty on his arm, shut up and let him be a star. That’s not me.

“When we came back, he e-mailed me info on cruises for Valentine’s Day. He calls and e-mails me as though the trip was great and everything is normal! What’s sad is that I believe he believes it. But I guess if you’re an alcoholic, you miss many important things in life and don’t even know what you’re missing.”

Erin says Kenny brought a suitcase full of booze with him — vodka, scotch and gin — in water bottles. Each night he refilled the four little liquor bottles he got on the plane and took them with him. He drank all day and night.

“I said he was cheap, but I’m not sure if that’s true. He didn’t want to eat, but maybe that’s because he drank so much. Maybe he didn’t want food to ruin his buzz.

“Oh, well. Kenny and I will always be friends. I guess I had hoped for a return of the spark from 15 years ago.”

Valentine’s Day. Love it? Hate it? Or ignore it? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.

Creators Syndicate

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