PSST!

OK, so you heard that Julia Roberts never wears deodorant and that Kanye West called off his engagement, but can you believe that Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford got it on during the filming of "Star Wars"? You just know that Han Solo wanted to try on that cinnamon-bun helmet.

I'm telling you this because I know you'll pass it on. I don't care if you get it right or not. The important thing is that you gossip. Because it's good for you.

Sure, gossip gets a bad rap. It even sounds malicious, with that hissssss sound in the middle of it. But science has proven again and again that talking behind people's backs has many benefits, even beyond the obvious pleasure of using the words "Paris Hilton" and "prison" in the same sentence.

(Not to mention "scuttlebutt.")

Every day, researchers are making advances in this field, and we are close to understanding why humans need gossip even more than water to thrive.

Here's what we know so far:

• • Gossip is an important part of any group interaction.

According to various studies, gossip helps people work together, circulate information, initiate newcomers and provide a safety net for others. "Not participating in gossip at some level can be unhealthy and abnormal," Sarah Wert, a Yale psychologist, told the New York Times.

• • Gossip can reinforce shared values.

If I'm shocked by a particularly tasty tidbit, and you're shocked by it, too, then we have a moral code in common. When we bond over gossip, our relationship is strengthened.

• • Our brains are wired to gossip.

According to an article in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, we feel pleasure when we indulge in gossipry. At the same time, we're promoting unwritten society rules, like "mooching is wrong" and "it' s rude to be late."

• • Men and women gossip differently.

The same article noted that men are more likely to tell tales to their lovers. Women in the study weren't so discriminatory. They gossiped with both friends and lovers.

• • Gossip can ward off depression.

Reading about -- oh, I don't know, let's say the misadventures of Britney Spears -- makes us feel undeniably better ourselves.

• • Gossip is one of the building blocks of language.

Estimates show that we spend 20 percent to 60 percent of our conversations each day talking about the lives of other people.

• • Gossip makes you more generous.

A just-released study, conducted by a team at Queen's University in Belfast, found that people behaved better when they were told their actions would be gossiped about. If they thought there was no chance they'd be talked about, they were more selfish.

• • You're supposed to gossip about celebrities.

It doesn't hurt them because they're not real. They are all computer-generated by the Church of Scientology to numb our minds so that we're more vulnerable to brainwashing. The pods should be ripening soon. And this so-called Hollywood? One big green screen.

I can't quote you any scientists on that one, but trust me, it's common knowledge.

• • Gossipists are just a little bit defensive.

There's nothing wrong with it at all.

As long as it's not about us.