Weather Updates

Common details his perfect mate

Commwalks red carpet screening his independent film 'LUV' Monday Sept. 10 2012. | Ramzi Dreessen~Sun-Times

Common walks the red carpet at a screening of his independent film "LUV" on Monday, Sept. 10, 2012. | Ramzi Dreessen~Sun-Times

storyidforme: 36722719
tmspicid: 13433530
fileheaderid: 6201937

Updated: October 18, 2012 11:11AM

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best in relationships. But I’m also not the worst. I’ve been at this dating thing for a while, and I’m beginning to think that my biggest mistake in relationships is not choosing what’s best for me.

All I want is a woman who is secure in who she is, and has her own goals and dreams. Someone who can support what I do and the decisions I make on a personal and professional level. Someone who is not afraid of the traditional male and female roles, and, when situations arise, allow me to lead the way and take care of her. Someone with great maternal instincts, who can care for me when needed, but who doesn’t want to be my mom (I have one of those already, and one is enough). Also on my list: A strong spiritual foundation. Loves to cook. And sexy. (Trust me, if she embodies all of the above, that’s sexy.) Not only do I want someone who can make my life better, but I want to make her life better by supporting her in any way I can.

Life is a lot more complicated than it was when our parents got married. I look around and see most of my friends are still single, and it can’t be because there’s a shortage of women. Maybe they’re just not ready to make the big commitment. When I stop and think about it, I realize that I do want the big commitment. I really value the partnership between two people who pledge to share their lives. And though I’m far from perfect, I’m willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work with someone who shares the same passion.

So if I’m willing to work hard in the relationship and support my lady in fulfilling her life dreams and commit to sticking it out, I have to wonder...

Am I asking too much?

Common donated his fee for writing this column to the Common Ground Foundation,

© 2014 Sun-Times Media, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied or distributed without permission. For more information about reprints and permissions, visit To order a reprint of this article, click here.