Might be reason to shy away from guy who’s been married 3 times
By Cheryl Lavin February 21, 2014 11:30PM
Updated: March 18, 2014 4:15PM
When you’ve been divorced for nearly 10 years and when you’ve dated a lot of men in that time, you naturally assume you’ve developed some street smarts. That you can pick out the winners, smell the losers. You sucker.
Courtney, 35, had knocked around since her divorce. “I think I know most of the single guys out there,” she says. “I’ve had a few long-term relationships and every time I came out of one, the pickings kept getting slimmer. That’s why when Jason came along I knew I hit the jackpot.”
Courtney met Jason in August through work. She sells real estate and he was looking for a house. A big house. A high six-figure house. “For a single man of 29, I thought that was a pretty decent purchase,” says Courtney. There was also “total instant chemistry” between them.
“He was genuinely nice and he made me feel good. He was easy to talk to and he was so romantic. He sent me flowers all the time. He bought me a Concorde watch a week after we started dating.
“He owned a boat and we’d go out on the lake. He was wonderful to my son. They’d spend days together, playing ball, riding bikes, going to movies. I thought there was nobody more perfect than him. I thought this is forever. Everything is great.”
Well, not everything. Jason, the jackpot, had been married before, three times. (He’s 29, remember.) But as Courtney told herself, two of the marriages had been to the same woman, a Bible-thumping Southern Baptist who was constantly trying to convert him, and the other was to his childhood sweetheart when he was just 18. He also was spoiled. When he was down, his rich daddy would say, “Go buy yourself a new car, it’ll make you feel better.”
Still, three months after they began dating, they got married. “His family was thrilled, mine was over the moon. They loved that I’d never have to worry about money again. It wasn’t going to be ‘poor Courtney’ anymore. We had a small wedding — just what we wanted — but as soon as I said, ‘I do,’ something cracked. He started leaving me on our honeymoon in Hawaii.”
He walked out when Courtney became annoyed because he wanted to spend a lot of time with his sister and brother-in-law who also happened to be in Hawaii. He walked out when she objected to his friends calling them day and night from the States. When they got home, things weren’t much better. He walked out when he was angry. He raged against Courtney’s son.
“At first I thought it was me. I blamed myself for everything. I had heard about his mood swings before we were married, but I had never seen them and I thought I was causing them. I never knew in the morning what the day would bring. I’d say to my son, ‘Steer clear of him if he’s in this mood, don’t open your mouth if he’s in that mood.’ And then one day he told me he didn’t want me anymore. I was like one of his possessions that he was tired of.”
Jason left for good five months after the wedding and now Courtney’s dating again. “Quantity, not quality,” is how she describes the men out there.