Updated: March 18, 2014 4:15PM
There are always three people on a blind date: the man, the woman and the matchmaker who, in his or her infinite wisdom, decided the two should know each other. When single people sit around swapping tales, it’s often about fix-ups that began with, “Have I got a guy/girl for you ... “
JOLIE, 29: My blind date asked me to meet him at the bar at the Marriott Hotel. I walked in, and he didn’t stand up. He was overweight with teensy, triangular, polished fingernails and a shiny suit. He wouldn’t talk about himself or his work or his hobbies or anything.
I had to be the color person on the date. I started telling him little anecdotes about my day and my life. And then I got out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t realize until I ran into him later that he came up to my shoulders — and I’m 5 feet 6. I thought to myself, “What does my friend think of me that she thinks I’d enjoy this man?” Am I that desperate?
RUSS, 27: I hate being fixed up. I will not be fixed up. I don’t like to see women first as love partners; they should be friends first. I want to get to know them slowly in a non-threatening kind of way, rather than to have to evaluate right away if I want to love them or be physical with them. I’d rather clean the dust bunnies out from under my bed than go on a blind date.
LIZA, 29: I had a summer of fix-ups, a whole, disastrous slew of them, courtesy of a dating service. One of the men sold ladies’ slippers. I learned so much about slippers and decided then that I should regard blind dates as learning experiences. But it didn’t work. The littlest things turned me off, like when one of them said, “I hope you like kitty cats.”
MELANIE, 25: I was fixed up with a dentist. When I got off the elevator, the two of us checked each other out so fast it was like a CAT scan. We went out to eat, and before the food came, he took his napkin and wiped the silverware. After dinner, he excused himself and brushed his teeth.
DRU, 39: I had a blind date, and we went out to lunch. I sat across the table from him for an hour, and when it was all over, the best thing I could say about him was that he has all his hair.
PAUL, 25: I asked a blind date what she wanted to do, thinking she would say, “Let’s meet for a drink and talk.” Instead she said, “Oh, I’d love to see a Broadway play.’” We’re talking about a first date worth $200, give or take — and who knows if you’ll even see each other again?
Tell me about your blind dates — the good, the bad, the really, really ugly. Send them, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new website askcheryl.net. Creators Syndicate