Strike three and this guy is out
BY CHERYL LAVIN September 1, 2013 11:44AM
Updated: September 1, 2013 7:56PM
Greg is a 43-year-old divorced man. He’s 6-foot-5 and takes good care of himself. He says, “I’ve been complimented many times on my looks and healthy lifestyle.” And he can’t get a date.
He’s says it’s because of “The Big Three”:
1. His profession
2. His kids
3. His car
He’s a “very happy” public school teacher who’s “passionate” about his profession. He has primary custody of his two kids. And he drives a “not sexy, well-maintained, 9-year-old minivan that has various stains in the carpet from when my kids were younger.”
“My experience being divorced and single is that women are very interested in me until they find out The Big Three.”
I asked Greg which of the Big Three was the biggest turn-off.
“That’s really hard to say. Probably my kids, not because I have kids but because I have them 70 percent of the time. They’re with me all the time, except for every other weekend. I think most women who are single or divorced in their late 30s and early 40s (that’s the age range I wanted to date) understand that a divorced man probably has kids. But I think they expected the typical situation of the kids being with the mom most of the time and the dad every other weekend. My situation is the exact opposite.
“Then there were some women who I could tell liked me a lot, but they had kids the same age as mine. They were looking to get married and didn’t see the Brady Bunch scenario as feasible, and neither did I.”
And here’s another thing. Not only is Greg a full-time dad, but he’s a very protective father who believes his kids need stability.
“I found out early on that it was best that I not introduce them to women unless I felt like there was the potential for a long-term relationship, a significant future. That meant I was only available every other weekend to date, when my kids visited their mother. That put a lot of women off, too. They became frustrated with me. This often sends the woman on her way.”
And then there was the fact that he’s a teacher. Greg lives in a very upscale neighborhood — “Plastic surgeons abound where I live! — and women he chatted with online or the phone assumed he could keep up with the Joneses.
“They seemed really interested in me until they found out I was a teacher. Poof! They were gone. Some people are very focused on money and a designer lifestyle. I’ve had first dates that go great until it’s discovered that I’m a teacher with custody of my kids and then the whole tone of the date changes.”
Greg is “fine” being single. He says he loves his life, his career, and even his 9-year-old minivan.
“There’s nothing I would change about my life, but I do want the companionship of someone special, and I’ve often thought it would be nice to have a positive female role model for my kids.”
Next: Does Greg meet that someone special?
Have you had a summer romance that didn’t make it past the first frost? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.