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Dinner, a hotel room — and a breakup

Updated: July 19, 2013 3:26PM

Q. I dated this man for three months. I’m divorced with young children. He’s never been married, although he does have a daughter whom he sees often. We both have busy schedules and lots of responsibilities, so we didn’t get to see each other that often. Still, we managed to speak almost every day and text or email once or twice a day.

We had talked often about how nice it would be to get away to a hotel for a night. He said he would make all the plans. We met around 7 p.m. and had dinner in the hotel dining room. Everything seemed great. When we got back to the room, he said that “it” wasn’t working any more for him. He found himself checking out other women and wanted to pursue other relationships.

I was totally blindsided! He said the room was already paid for, so why didn’t I stay (alone) that night and order room-service breakfast on him. Then he kissed me on the cheek and left. What kind of a sicko goes to all the trouble to get a hotel room just to break up with someone?

A. Here’s what I think happened. Between the time he made the reservation and the time he met you at the hotel, he (a) met a woman he liked and wanted to pursue, or (b) decided to go after a woman he already knew.

I don’t think he invited you to the hotel just to mess with your head. I think he really wanted to see you when he invited you, but “someone” came up.

Q. After 17 years of marriage, my wife asked for a divorce. Then she immediately started seeing her former boss. (She probably started seeing him while we were still married, but I don’t have any proof.)

He’s very rich and showers her and my children with gifts. He accompanies her to all her family functions. I’m blind with anger. I can’t understand how he has managed to keep his job.

Last month, he wanted to take my wife and kids on a Mediterranean cruise. I didn’t want the kids to go. I was seeing a very thoughtful woman at the time, and she encouraged me to let them.

I was miserable while they were gone and blamed my girlfriend for giving me bad advice. Now she won’t see me.

A. First of all, quit calling her your “wife.” You’re divorced! Of course she’s going to take her boyfriend to her family functions. And why would he be fired? I’ve never heard of a company policy that doesn’t allow ex-employees to date.

You need to deal with your anger. It isn’t hurting your ex-wife and her boyfriend, but it is hurting you. It’s sabotaging your new relationship. Call up your girlfriend and apologize. Until you’ve let go of your hurt and anger, you’re not ready for a relationship with her or anyone.

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