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People live in many different closets

Updated: July 19, 2013 3:26PM



We think we live in such an open society. Same-sex marriage is legal in some states, and the Supreme Court is deciding if it should be the law of the land. Few people give a double take to two men holding hands or two women walking arm-in-arm. Many of us are related to or are friends or colleagues with people who are gay.

So it may come as a bit of a shock to know that the closet is alive and well. Today we meet Beth and Victor, who are both still in it.

BETH: I’m a 51-year-old, still-pretty, feminine woman who will never come out of the closet. The world today is much different than when I was growing up. All the girls that were out back then were very butch. I knew some “tomboys” in school, but I was never attracted to them. I’m happily married for the fourth time, but I wish the “lipstick lesbians” weren’t afraid in my day.

I think I knew I was a lesbian when I was about 10 or 11. The first time I ever had an orgasm (alone), I was thinking about a girl. It terrified me! Not too long after that, an older girl with long blonde hair and big breasts, a cheerleader, slept over and asked if we could play with each other’s breasts. We had sex that night and a few times after that.

I always had a boyfriend, and I was extremely attracted to some of them, and I’ve had affairs with women here and there. All of my husbands have known about my preferences.

I’ve always had a lot to drink before I told them. Men seem to get turned on by it. I don’t have any children, but at this stage of my life, I’m not going to come out. I never discuss it with anyone. Ever.

VICTOR: I think even before I became a teenager I had a fetish for and a desire to wear women’s clothes. I stopped wearing men’s underwear decades ago, except to visit the doctor. Women’s underwear, especially nylon, feels so much nicer. Fortunately my wife is very understanding, and I could probably wear female attire full-time around the house. (The kids are grown up, married and have long since left the house.)

I love wearing nightgowns to bed, but I’ll also wear female pajamas. My jeans are all Gloria Vanderbilt; they fit better anyway. However, very little of what I wear that is visible to the public would make me stand out.

It would be nice to go out dressed quite femininely, but it’s not going to happen. I would love to go swimming in a nice, conservative, one-piece women’s swimsuit or simply lay around in my back yard while dressed in such. Even wearing female gardening gloves is a turn-on.

The general public might be becoming more accepting of gay and other types of relationships, but I feel that I would be ridiculed, ostracized and probably arrested if I went out in truly feminine apparel and wasn’t able to pass. I guess I’m partially in a different kind of closet, as a closet queen and prefer to stay there.

Are you in a closet, any kind of closet? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants, to cheryllavinrapp @gmail.com. And check out my new website, askcheryl.net.



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