She’s literally the woman of his teenage dreams
CHERYL LAVIN April 14, 2013 5:48PM
Updated: May 16, 2013 6:04AM
Dear Cheryl: When I was 14, I had a dream about a woman. We had known each other in a previous life. We met outside of a church and she was wearing a white dress. I was talking to someone and she walked by. I couldn’t tell what she looked like, but I found out about a year later when I had another dream about her. I saw her face and her smile melted by heart.
I determined that she was the one for me. I’ve been quietly searching for her throughout my life, because something did not seem finished with us. Children in school teased me all the time because I wouldn’t date.
One day when I was looking up some friends online, I found the woman in my dream. The problem is that she doesn’t know who I am and she has a boyfriend. I’m torn about saying anything. On one hand, I feel if I don’t say anything I’ll lose her forever, but on the other hand, I don’t think I should get involved.
I’m 19, so I know that this may seem like infatuation, but I can assure you it’s not. The timing may seem off because I’m young, but I believe that this is my chance to right the wrong that I believe my soul has endured for thousands of years.
Should I go for it and rewrite past karma, or do what I’ve been doing for years, which is to keep quiet, help others and live with this pain inside of me? —Time Traveler
Dear Time Traveler: Find a way to meet her. It shouldn’t be too difficult because you have friends in common.
If the two of you are really destined to be together, you’ll both feel the connection. If she doesn’t or if you don’t, accept that you’ve taken a slight detour to the Twilight Zone and get on with your life.
Dear Cheryl: My boyfriend of 16 months has lied to me on five different occasions. Naturally I’ve become suspicious, so I looked on his phone. I saw a nude photo he had taken of himself with his hand covering his penis. When I asked him about it, he said maybe he was going to send it to me.
You do not send your girlfriend a picture like that. I also found pop-up webcam sites on his phone and two shirtless photos on his computer. He said he was testing out the camera. He won’t let me see his computer history. He said he has a right to privacy.
This man is 50 years old, so he’s old enough to know better than play games. I don’t think he’s unfaithful. But I do think he’s on the Internet sending photos, receiving them and talking to other women. Other than that he treats me well.
—Trust But Verify
Dear TBV: I think you’re right. He’s got an Internet fantasy life going. That may or may not become a reality at some point. The Internet cheating may turn into real cheating.
But I have to ask: Why do you want to be with a man you don’t trust who has lied to you on at least five occasions? I don’t know how well he can treat you to make up for the fact that you don’t believe him.
Got a problem? Or a question? Send it to cheryllavin firstname.lastname@example.org.