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October 27, 2009

Family finances were easy when there was only one breadwinner. I don't remember Carol Brady ever working. Poor Mike had to support the whole "Brady Bunch" even though three of the kids weren't even his.

If the show were starting today, Carol would have a job. Maybe she'd be a model for Chico's or a yoga instructor.

And there'd be a fight at the kitchen table. She'd want to use her money to pay for a tummy tuck. Mike would insist they use it to support unemployed Greg, his anorexic wife and their three obese children.

Which brings us to today's question. How do you handle the finances in your family?

JILL: Our basic deal is that we each put our salary into our own accounts. We've worked out which bills we share and which we cover on our own. The only thing we split down the middle is our mortgage. After that, I usually pay for food, he usually pays the other household bills. I cover all of our kids' expenses unless I really can't manage. He has no part of my debt, which is enormous due to a few serious errors in judgment about 10 years ago.

My husband makes about three times as much as I do, but I don't spend his money. We each pay for our own toys. He buys a lot more toys -- and expensive toys -- than I do. I'm comfortable living at my limited level and paying down my debt. I don't pay any attention to what he buys, except to occasionally be amused by it.

ALLEN: My wife and I have been married for 31 years. When we got married, I was 20 and she was 19. I was in the military, and for the first couple of years of our marriage she didn't work. Regardless, all the money was our money. When she started working, we continued this philosophy. Both of our checks would go into our joint accounts. Hers went into savings, mine into checking. We agreed on all major expenditures and on how much we each could spend per pay period at our own discretion.

I've usually made more than my wife, but that made no difference. I've been laid off several times, and she carried the load during those times. I can't understand how a man would have a problem with his mate making more money than him, unless his ego and self worth are determined by how much money he makes!

HARLEY: A friend of ours pointed out that when an older couple gets married, it's like a corporate merger. Separate bank accounts are the norm. Once the mortgage and other assorted bills are paid, what's left in the wife's account is hers. What's left in his is his. Neither has to get permission to buy a bunch of expensive stuff for him or herself.

Larger purchases are usually agreed upon in advance, particularly if both incomes are required. As far as vacations and such go, making agreements on who pays for what are easy if both people actually act like adults, even if one makes considerably more than the other.

How do you and your partner handle finances? What about the needs of stepchildren? Send your tale to cheryllavin@aol.com. Lavin blogs at www.talesfromthefront.com. Distributed by Creators Syndicate Inc.