Updated: July 19, 2013 3:26PM
Everyone lies online, don’t they? Men might exaggerate their height and their income. Women may underestimate their age and their weight. It’s almost expected. But failing to reveal a major physical handicap? Not cool.
MICKEY: We met through a dating site and set up a lunch date. I picked the place — low-key, they throw peanuts on the floor. You cannot get anymore low-key than that.
She was late; I was starving. I noticed her walking in, looking around like she was nervous. I assumed she was nervous because it was an Internet date. That was incorrect.
As she sat down, it was apparent her nervousness was about the place itself. I had told her low-key. But as she read the menu, I could sense she was uncomfortable.
I asked what the problem was. She told me, point blank, “I have never eaten at a place that serves ketchup on the table.”
That took me aback. My reply was, “Well, I’m starving, so I’ll eat. If this place is not to your liking, I apologize, but this is fine for me, a low-key place for a first meeting. We can eat at Carmine’s after I get to know you.”
She called me cheap and left.
AMANDA: There’s a plague of men lying about their age on dating sites. I know they lie about a lot of things (being married, for starters), but the age thing is so commonplace that women just accept it.
When I cornered my 42-online but-49-in-real-life Internet boyfriend, he said he changed his age group to meet younger women.
I accidentally uncovered his ruse by mentioning I remembered when candy bars were a quarter. He said he remembered when they were a dime. Gotcha!
We broke up several months later. His age wasn’t the reason we broke up, but the pattern of deceit played a big role.
Now a friend of mine is dating a guy who also changed his age. She’s letting it go because he’s pretty nice (I’ve met him, and he is), but it irks me that we let this kind of thing slide.
We all know we’re rarely as awesome as our profiles, and maybe our photos were taken on a really good hair day, but misrepresenting a quantitative fact about oneself is not a good place to start a relationship that should be based on honesty.
CAROL: I corresponded online with a man who said he was a lawyer, tall, liked to walk on the beach and loved to travel.
We agreed to meet at a restaurant. I got there early and found a seat by the window so I could watch for my mystery date. I waited and didn’t see anyone who remotely looked like the person I was waiting for. I left.
When I got home there was a message from him stating that he was at the restaurant and didn’t see me. We agreed to meet again for drinks. As I was waiting for him, an older man, old enough to be my father, rolled up in a wheelchair.
I thought to myself, “Six feet tall? Likes to walk on the beach? Loves to travel?” Maybe before his illness.
We talked a bit, and then I excused myself and said I had another commitment.
That was my foray into Internet dating. Never believe what anyone says online.
Have you had adventures in Internet dating? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants, to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new website, askcheryl.net.