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After hospital date, he’s discharged

Updated: July 19, 2013 3:26PM

Most first dates involve eating or drinking. And the man usually picks the spot. It tells a lot about him. Does he choose some place very hip or someplace out of the way?

Patsy’s date chose someplace out of the way. Way, way out of the way.

PATSY: We met online. He told me he had a fantastic place to have lunch and wanted to keep it a secret. I went along. I even let him pick me up (after I gave his cell phone number and email address to my girlfriend).

He took me to the cafeteria of Cook County Hospital in Chicago! He didn’t understand why all I wanted was a salad and suddenly received a text telling me to get back to work. I never talked to or saw him again.

BUD: When I was single and looking, my friends set me up with a lovely lady for a dinner date. I picked a nice restaurant because I like to eat well, and it seemed like a swell place for a first date.

The lady was indeed lovely, and OMG, did she know it. We spent most of evening talking about her good looks and modeling opportunities and the number of chaps who were in love with her.

I realized early on that this relationship was going nowhere, so I just enjoyed the meal, a few glasses of good wine and totally tuned her out.

(On top of the non-stop talking, she had a very annoying habit of doing this thing with her hair, sort of tossing it in the air with a twist of her neck. She was clearly in love with her long hair.)

As the evening came to an end, the waiter stopped by with the check and left it on the table.

I smiled at her and said, “This has been fun, and I’m sure you’ll want to split the check with me, right?” I didn’t really wait for an answer. I just put cash on the check, pushed it toward her and said, “Here’s my half.”

If she didn’t have the money or objected strongly, I was totally prepared to pay the bill. The cost wasn’t a big deal; her rudeness was.

I don’t recall much after that. We both had come in our own cars, and we departed the same way. Not a surprise that we never saw one another again.

KARA: A woman wrote in recently saying she didn’t understand why she only got a few responses to her profile since she’s attractive, isn’t overweight and has a very young-looking body. She wrote: “In my photos, I posed in casual, career and dress-up clothes. I sent hundreds of messages to men. Now I understand that some of them had probably canceled their subscription. The others were either married, just wanted to play games or were bored with life.”

I was in the exact same situation. I discovered that there’s an alternative explanation. Men only respond to women dressed like porn stars in provocative positions. Cruising online dating sites is akin to cruising porn sites. I met a man who told me he picked me because I was actually wearing clothes!

Have you been on a first date that you quickly realized was also a last date? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants, to And check out my new website

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