Consider the children of same-sex marriage
By Cheryl Lavin February 20, 2013 11:42AM
Updated: July 19, 2013 3:26PM
Today’s discussion of same-sex marriage centers on children and what’s best for them.
LARRY: The number one reason I oppose gay marriage is the children. We can’t assume that gay couples would only seek to adopt. Many will want their own children. If we allow gay marriage, we’re encouraging a situation where biological mothers and fathers are not be the primary caregivers of their own children.
We do this in some measure already with sperm donors and surrogate mothers, but this would break new ground. We, as a society, will no longer consider children raised by their natural mother and father as the ideal.
It’s one thing to accept gay couples as adoptive parents, where something is better than nothing. And often single people raise children because of a number of different circumstances, none of which we would consider ideal. It’s one thing to make do when things go wrong because of death, illness or divorce, but to make it our first choice is simply wrong.
This is the line that we should not cross.
We have civil unions to accommodate most of the practical needs gay couples encounter, but giving these relationships the status of marriage will redefine parenting in a way that is not in the best interests of the children.
CARLA: I have to laugh when people on the far right talk about the sanctity of marriage. How sacred can it be when half of all marriages end in divorce?
It seems to me that the only people who actually want to get married these days are gay couples. In 1970, 79 percent of the adults in this country were married, now it’s only 52 percent.
The Ozzie and Harriet family of the 1950s with a mother, a father and 2.2 children is going the way of the dodo bird. Like it or not, many people think fathers are redundant, like nipples on a man.
JP: I live in a country that has allowed gay marriage for almost 10 years. The two most commonly heard concerns about it from the U.S. seem to be: “Next those gays will be forcing my church to marry them” and “What next? People marrying goats?”
I can report that no Catholic Churches have been forced to marry gays. And, as of yet, there have not been any goat/human marriages.
Meanwhile, in the land of “separation of church and state,” politicians are preventing gay-accepting churches from marrying gay couples.
JEAN-PAUL: Marriage exists for the benefit of children. Children need both a mom and a dad. Social science research and thousands of years of history show that children do best when raised by their married mother and father.
BRADLEY: Marriage is between a man and woman. That’s how God set it up with Adam and Eve. That is the standard. You break the standard, you destroy the foundation which God has created. Two men can’t reproduce, nor can two women.
CARY: I don’t agree with same-sex marriage, but I’m not about to judge. Love whom you please.
TED: As was said by that carpenter from Nazareth more than two millennia ago, “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s; render unto God that which is God’s.” Amazing how religionists are blind to that fine line separating the two or deliberately choose to blur it.
Are you gay? Are you married? Do you have children? What effect does your sexuality have on your kids? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants, to email@example.com. And check out my new website, askcheryl.net.