Age can be just a number
By Cheryl Lavin January 13, 2013 7:24PM
Updated: January 28, 2013 5:38PM
When I heard that Ashton Kutcher sued Demi Moore for divorce, I’m guessing my reaction was the same as yours: If those two crazy kids can’t make it, what chance do the rest of us have?
Turns out, there are some May-December romances that are happily chugging along. Others? Not so much!
JANE: My hubby is 14 years older than me. We both dated people in our own age range. I wasn’t looking for anyone older, and he wasn’t looking for anyone younger.
At first we were just friends. He liked my gumption and independence. I liked his compassion, honesty and humor. By chance, my daughter bought me a ticket to see a country band and I needed a friend to go with. No one was available and he was my last option.
That first date led to more dates, and I knew he was the one for me. After awhile, we had a discussion about our age difference. He admitted that he was very uncomfortable dating a younger woman. I didn’t care about the age difference. Compatibility and friendship were my priorities.
Fast-forward 15 years. I wouldn’t change a thing. In that short time, we’ve been through job losses, cancer and the death of a child and other close family members. Truly the very things that would rip any marriage apart, yet, we faced the challenges together as if it were us against the world.
I’m sensitive when people make comments or give us disgusted stares. My hubby, on the other hand, is quick-witted and has a comeback that makes people laugh.
We’re best friends, and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. He’s my trophy and I am his.
LOUISA: My mother married a man barely older than me, and they’ve always seemed very happy together.
He’s happy to have his name on all of her money. He’s happy to have a nice house where he can get sloshed anytime he wants. She’s happy to think that her looks are enough to grab and keep a younger man. Actually, after all this time, you can’t see the age difference because his alcoholism has made him look like hell.
If you have kids, and you throw over their father for a young stud muffin and then let him drink away their inheritance, it’s bound to cause some resentment!
Other than that, age is just a number.
MADELYN: I think a lot of women married to younger men are lying to themselves. I remember going to a house party and getting hit on pretty hard by a man. Later he was joined by a woman who looked and acted like his mother. I thought it strange he would bring his mother to the party, but I know a lot of young men still live at home.
I was stunned when she started bragging about the joys of being married to this younger man. I wonder if she knows he’s hitting on other women the minute she leaves the room.
PAULA: Two of my former co-workers married younger men 15 years their junior, and both couples are doing just fine. If you can find someone to love in this world, why let a number get in your way?
Is there a big age difference between you and your partner? Or a racial, religious, ethnic or political difference? How’s that working for you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to email@example.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.