Love works better the second time around for some
CHERYL LAVIN December 3, 2012 1:40PM
Updated: January 11, 2013 10:40AM
We recently heard from grumpy old men and grouchy old women. The men complained the women they met were gold-diggers looking for a sugar daddy. The women complained the men were boring, unappealing, unrealistic about their own appearance and too concerned with women’s.
It wasn’t a pretty picture of dating among the Medicare set.
Today we hear from readers who have all found love late in love and are doing just fine.
JENNIE: I was appalled to read the comments in your column about older men and women! I met my second husband when I was 60 and had been divorced for 12 years. I was not looking for someone to support me, but for someone to grow old with.
Then I met Paul. He was a widower who, like me, had met people through newspaper ads. Also, like me, too many of those dates were unsatisfactory. We had both decided that our meeting would be our last attempt. No more newspaper ads if it didn’t work out.
We had pie and coffee at a local restaurant, and, as they say, the rest is history! I’m overweight, and he’s very shy, but we connected. We’ve now been married 14 years and every month we celebrate the anniversaries of our meeting and our marriage (his idea!), and I advise all newly-weds to do the same.
And yes, we do make love (I prefer using that term rather than “having sex.”) We’ve slowed down a little now because of various aches and pains, but we still laugh together, read, play our word games and travel as much as possible.
We share equally in paying the bills.
Our first marriages were not bad, but we both learned from them, and we cherish each other. He says he’s lucky to have met me. I say I’m lucky to have met him.
MIKE: I lost my wife of many years, and had the good fortune to meet up with an old friend who agreed to marry me. I have no complaints. We’re very happy. And I think she looks fine even though we’re both qualified to be AARP members.
PHIL: I’m 85 years of age. In 1999, I lost my wife of 51 years. At 72, I was suddenly single and old, and I felt like an outsider. After almost two years, I met a lady who was widowed after 56 years. We’ve been together more than 11 years, but not wedded. We don’t live together, but we see each other every day. We both had happy marriages and had a lot of love left to give.
We look at each other and do not see all the stuff your readers wrote about. She says I look handsome. I have a pot. I’m certainly not David, but love does wondrous things. When I look at her I see a beautiful, young, happy lady. By the way, she’s 91 years young. When we touch, look at each other, smile, do things for each other, that’s our sex.
Does marriage get easier? Has yours mellowed with time, like a fine wine, or turned to vinegar? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail. com.