Updated: September 17, 2012 12:58PM
You’ve heard it a million times. A couple gets married. She’s slim and lovely. Over the years, she gains weight. The husband cheats.
Not this time.
When Brian and Trish got married, Trish was “a beautiful, slender woman who took pride in her appearance.”
But as the years went on, she became “sloppy and obese.” Brian remained “fit” and encouraged Trish to work out with him.
“I tried to make it fun. I signed us up for dance lessons. We’d go dancing, but she clearly didn’t enjoy it. We tried tennis, but she had little interest. We took walks together, but again, she’d just as soon not.
“I modeled healthy eating and often did the cooking, but she kept eating junk. We talked about it, but she had no interest in getting fit or in her appearance. She dressed dowdy.”
The marriage had its ups and downs. “But as the years went on, I actually thought it was getting better. We were spending more time together. Our kids were in their teens and mostly on their own. They didn’t need us as much.”
And then Trish started traveling for work. “That’s when everything changed,” says Brian. “She wanted nothing to do with me anymore. No more trips, no more dates, no sex. She wouldn’t even undress in front of me.”
Despite all of this, Brian says he never thought of having an affair or getting divorced. “She was the mother of my children. I always thought we’d go back to having fun. I always hoped she’d start to care about her health and fitness.”
One day, Brian came across a telephone charge he didn’t understand and asked Trish about it.
One question led to another and she admitted she’d been having an affair for three years.
“There were lots of signs,” says Brian, “but I ignored them. I once found her panties in the back seat of her car. As I said, she wanted nothing to do with me. And then there was money.”
When Trish traveled for work, her company was supposed to reimburse her expenses. When Brian asked her where the money was, she was evasive.
“It turns out, she and the boyfriend were traveling for pleasure, and she was putting it on her credit card. She ran up $40,000 in debt, which I didn’t find out about until the divorce.”
What really shocked Brian was whom Trish was having the affair with. “Naturally, I was dying to know what he looked like. I was glad to see he was fat and homely and unemployed. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I think I get it now. With him, there’s no pressure on her to be better. She’s even more obese than ever.
“I believe she was insecure with me. I was very successful. I was fit. She resented me.”
Brian met Connie, his current wife, at work. “She’s stunningly beautiful, but it was her laugh and her joy for life that attracted me. I’ve never had so much fun.
“We play racquetball together once or twice a week. We often go to the gym together, but have different schedules. She runs and does resistance work. I do high-intensity interval training, swimming and resistance work.
“Connie has been my fitness and fun partner for 10 years now. We’re best friends, and I’m the envy of every guy I know.”
Has your partner’s appearance changed drastically? How has that affected your relationship? Send your tale to cheryllavin