Insecurity and cheating
BY CHERYL LAVIN firstname.lastname@example.org May 16, 2012 8:22PM
Updated: June 18, 2012 8:15AM
Today’s column is about why some men cheat, a man who never will, and the S word.
PAUL: Sometimes men cheat because they can’t deal with one of the side effects of getting older. As a man approaches his later years, he may experience loss of sexual function, which can be devastating. If he’s too embarrassed to tell his doctor, he may seek out a partner who’s more exciting than his wife of many years for the simple reason that it’s often easier for a man to be aroused when he’s with someone new.
Yes, it’s an immature not to mention inexcusable and possibly harmful way of dealing with a common problem, but as we know, it happens.
SANDY: My husband came home from work with your article titled “Who’s a Slut?” He said, “Here, I thought of you.”
It’s not the way it sounds.
My girlfriend and I live across the street from each other and have raised our kids together from the time they were babies. They played together practically every day and are still very close now that they’re 19, 20 and 24. When necessary — which was often — one of us would be the “good mom” and the other would be the “bad mom.” We’d switch back and forth.
As the kids got older and we talked about stuff, we would say my friend was the “good girl” in high school while I was the “slut.” It started as a joke and while I did a few wild things in high school during my senior year, all in all, I was pretty shy and quiet.
It’s been a running joke. We just talked about this the other day because the daughter in our group of kids was asking about something and I said, “Well, you should have asked me. I’m the slut, you know.” We all had a good laugh as usual.
I just wanted to let you know that the “slut” can also be a “good mom.”
DEBBIE: We met when I was 8 and he was 11. We lost touch for six years, and then reconnected in high school. We saw each other a few times at school, but that was it.
One day, I was working at a department store. He and his friend came in, and he came over to say hi. He asked me if I wanted to go for pizza. We went for pizza and drove around in his friend’s car. We started dating. I didn’t know he was also dating another girl.
I found out when I saw them drive by while I was crossing the street. That night, I broached the subject of his dating two of us at the same time. He told me he had broken up with the other girl that night. We dated for 18 months.
In February 1968, he asked my parents for my hand. We married in April. Forty-two years later, we’re still married and, as unbelievable as it sounds, we’re still in love. Love has changed with time, but it’s never gone away. In fact, it’s grown in hundreds of different ways.
We talk a lot, argue a lot and laugh even more. We’ve decided that we were together in a previous lifetime and that we’re destined to be together in a lifetime after this one.
It’s been an exciting, disturbing, sad, hilarious, astounding, scary and blissful ride.
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