This wife lets husband cheat once a year. Would you?
BY DR. LAURA BERMAN email@example.com August 21, 2013 5:01PM
Former Russian pop star Masha Lopatova Kirilenko, allows her husband , Brooklyn Nets forward Andrei Kirilenko, to step out on their marriage once a year. | AP
Updated: May 29, 2014 4:32PM
Would you ever give your partner a “free pass” to be intimate with another woman?
It might sound unbelievable, but some couples actually do permit each other to have extramarital sex, as long as it happens within certain guidelines. Such is the case for Brooklyn Nets basketball star Andrei Kirilenko and his wife Masha Lopatova Kirilenko. According to news reports, Masha allows Andrei to have sex with one other woman a year.
The reasoning behind Masha’s decision is that her husband is tempted by beautiful women every day. By giving him permission to “cheat” once a year, she is ensuring that he will stay faithful the other 364 days and that he will not feel confined by their marriage.
The couple has been happily married for 13 years, so they clearly doing something right and I applaud them for being honest about their needs. However, the reasoning behind their agreement is somewhat problematic.
First, Masha isn’t permitted to enjoy the same yearly fling, so it’s already an uneven agreement. It falsely assumes that only men have sexual temptations and that only men desire spice and novelty in the bedroom.
Secondly, I resist any argument that frames monogamy as a prison or a punishment. Marriage doesn’t have to be a death sentence for passion and eroticism. Yes, long-term relationships take work and sometimes there are ebbs and flows in your sex life. But if you are willing to talk about what you want, put yourself out there, and be uninhibited and sensual, there is no reason why married sex has to equal boring sex.