Ignoring a child’s tantrum won’t work for everyone

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Updated: December 27, 2011 9:54PM

There’s a new parenting technique gaining a lot of traction, at least according to a recent Wall Street Journal piece, “Tantrum Tamer: New Ways Parents Can Stop Bad Behavior” by Shirley S. Wang. Developed by researchers at Yale University and King’s College London, backers point out that, for starters, often parents encourage bad behavior by responding to their child’s tantrums, but not to their child when he is behaving well.

Where in the world are these researchers finding parents who can do this over time?

Consider these instructions to parents found in the sidebar of the piece under the heading, “Before, During and After the Storm”:

† “In case of a temper tantrum, remain calm. Describe the behavior. ‘You are pretending you don’t hear me when I say it’s time to go.’ ”

I would have to be heavily sedated to have that response.

† “Point out other children exhibiting a desired behavior. ‘See how nicely that boy is sharing.’ Don’t add, ‘Why can’t you?’ ”

My voice would be so dripping with sarcasm in this instance I might as well just say what I’m really thinking to my kids in the first place: “What is the problem? Could you JUST ONCE behave like a human being here — like that kid over there is doing?”

† “Praise reasonable reactions, muted tantrums or any efforts at self-control.”

Praising a “muted tantrum”? For that I’d have to have a lot of medication left over from the time I had the bizarre alien-mother response to the temper tantrum.

I admit it: This is a parenting trend I’m going to constructively ignore.

Scripps Howard