Remodeling tough on couples

Survey finds many rehab pros have witnessed homeowners spats, sometime play counselor

Seventy-eight percent of home remodeling professionals witnessed an argument between a couple in the last year, according to a new survey. The disagreements were either in the planning stage or during the remodeling work.

And 64 percent of the remodeling pros said they had to play the role of relationship counselor during these quarrels.

Seventy-nine percent have walked away from a work order because of excessive client arguing at some time in their careers.

The mother or wife in the household usually was the one who was the most stressed out. A kitchen remodeling is the project that causes the most stress among homeowners.

On a scale of 1-10, (1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest), stress levels for the homeowner reach an astonishingly high average of 8 during the remodeling process.

"When going through a stressful home improvement project, people either roll with it, or endure. But for some, having their routines disrupted can put them, and perhaps even their relationships, on edge," said David Lupberger of ServiceMagic.com, which commissioned the survey.

"Fortunately, there are things families and their contractors can do to alleviate the potential for permanent relationship damage. Preparation for the remodel is the key to minimizing the stress of any project," he said.

The national survey included about 700 homeowners and 260 remodeling contractors.

• 42 percent of the homeowners said their remodeling projects took longer than they wished.

• 39 percent said their contractor was messy.

• One-third said their project went over budget.

Much stress and disagreement can be averted if everyone knows what to expect.

For example, what arrangements should be made with children and pets? What are the contractor's dust containment and cleanup procedures?

What time will daily work begin and end? Will any work areas need to be completely cleared of furniture? Where will workers store their tools and building materials?

Which outside areas will bear the brunt of construction activities, and what protective measures can be taken? Does any landscaping need to be moved or protected? Is there any way to lessen the impact of construction? Can the crew use the homeowners' bathroom, or should there be a portable toilet on the premises?

"Only a family physician knows more about the family than the contractor will during a remodel project," said Marc Feldman, a psychotherapist. "It is critical for couples to be prepared for what they cannot predict during this elaborate process.

"An essential part of preparation entails full disclosure from the service professional explaining the difference between expectations and reality to ensure everyone involved is on the same page," he said.

Bill Cunniff