Kisses and gratitude can build a better relationship
BY DR. LAURA BERMAN
drberman@bermancenter.com
December 27, 2011 11:46AM
Updated: December 27, 2011 9:54PM
A s 2012 approaches, many people consider resolutions that will better their lives and ensure a successful year. Popular resolutions include losing weight and quitting smoking, and while these are important to one’s physical health, there are other important resolutions to consider as well. Perhaps the best resolutions that couples can make in the new year are ones that will keep their marriage strong and happy over the coming year.
Consider the top five relationship resolutions:
Touch more. It is common for touching and kissing to fall by the wayside in long-term relationships. Perfunctory pecks take the place of deep kissing, and half-hearted hugs replace those long intimacy-building embraces. Luckily, it doesn’t take much work to restore kissing and cuddling in your relationship. Start by making a resolution to kiss your partner each and every day. Go for a 10-second kiss to ensure that you aren’t just giving him a quick peck. (It might sound strange to count to 10 while you are kissing your partner, but it’s just a guideline to help you get back in the habit again. After a while, you will find that you no longer need to count).
Beware of hormonal birth control. Speaking of more sex, beware of libido-killers like hormonal birth control. Ironically, many hormonal contraceptives can cause low libido in women, and they also come with a host of other side effects including weight gain. Try giving hormones a break and making a move to condoms, or try a gold-standard method of birth control like the diaphragm or the IUC. The IUC is inserted during a simple doctor’s office and it can protect you from pregnancy for years (with no threat to fertility and no need to refill a prescription every month).
Take an adults-only vacation. Family vacations can be fun, but they often can be stressful on the adults. Plus they don’t give Mom and Dad much alone time. Plan an adults-only vacation for just the two of you and commit to getting more one-on-one time as a couple.
Express appreciation. In relationships, people tend to focus on the negative. Rethink your focus this year by expressing appreciation to your partner every day, whether it’s thanking him for being such a great dad or for filling up your car with gas. When you focus on how amazing your partner is and share appreciation, you will not only make him feel great, but you will put a spring in your own step.
Remember, 2012 can be a great year for you and your partner, if you only commit to small tweaks such as this and work to maintain sexual sparks throughout the coming months.
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