Frequent sex might be remedy for mood woes
BY DR. LAURA BERMAN firstname.lastname@example.org December 28, 2010 6:36PM
Updated: April 27, 2012 2:42PM
Can frequent sex save a relationship? A new study from the University of Tennessee suggests that it might, at least for those individuals prone to neurotic issues. Researchers found that people suffering from high levels of neurotic concerns benefited from frequent sex. Frequent sex seems to help temper these mood changes and restore happiness for these individuals.
The study also found that sex tends to decrease the longer a couple has been together, likely because finding the time to make sex happen more frequently isn’t always possible.
If this sounds familiar, consider the following tips to help you find more time for sex:
Master the art of the quickie. While there is something to be said for long, passionate sex sessions, quickies can be satisfying as well. You won’t always have time to make sex a long event, but almost everyone has 5-10 minutes to spare for a little sexual bliss.
Get the most out of your quickies by making sure to perform positions that are mutually pleasurable and offer opportunity for maximum stimulation of your hot spots. You also can increase your arousal by using sex aids such as toys or lubricant, and you can up your excitement by having sex somewhere daring and naughty (like the restroom of a restaurant or in the back room at a New Year’s party).
Just do it. When it comes to sex, if you don’t use it, you lose it. The longer you go without sex, the less you crave it. You won’t fantasize about sex as often, and your arousal and sexual response will take a hit. It’s a vicious cycle that can get out of control quickly.
Stop it in its tracks by making a concerted effort to have sex at least once a week (barring illness or major relationship distress).
The “just do it” approach won’t always work, but it can help to get you back in the habit of thinking about sex (not to mention, it will keep you and your partner on the same page sexually).
Initiate sex twice as often as you turn it down. We can’t always be in the mood for sex, but if you find yourself turning down your partner due to fatigue or stress, make a mental note to initiate sex the next day or later in the week. It’s OK if you aren’t always in the mood, but don’t use that as an excuse to simply give up on your sexuality. A great sex life takes work and attention, particularly during those times when your libido isn’t naturally revved up.
Embrace maintenance sex. Not every sex session is going to involve fireworks and acrobatic positions. Sometimes you will have to rely on maintenance sex, sex that is routine, basic, and to the point. Even though you aren’t swinging from the chandeliers, you both will get what you need physically, and you will be able keep your bond tight until you are able to have one of those wild, hair-pulling sessions you both crave.
Remember, as long as you make sex a priority, there is no reason why you can’t find time to have sex with your partner on a regular basis.