Updated: August 17, 2012 7:10AM
Dear Abby: There is a guy at work I’ve been attracted to for as long as I have worked here — six years. I work in the office and he is in the field. We see each other a couple of times a week, if that.
We attended a retirement party for one of the employees recently. He started pursuing me. We ended up getting to know each other and stayed together the rest of the night. We seemed to get along very well.
We took a drive, and he was holding my hand and saying all the things a woman wants to hear. We kissed. When the night came to an end, we sat in his car and hugged and fell asleep together. (He did not push me to do anything more than the kissing, hugging and hand-holding, which I respect.) It seemed like a beautiful dream.
The following week at work he claimed not to remember much of that night, although he seemed to have a smirk on his face when he said it. Abby, anytime I hook up with someone, I tell myself, “Let’s see what happens,” and I don’t pursue it any further, hoping the guy will. (I’m shy when it comes to men.) Then nothing ever happens. I’ll be 30 soon, and I’ve been single almost 10 years.
Should I pursue this further, or leave it alone and see what happens as I’ve always done?
— Smitten in Michigan
Dear Smitten: Whether you pursue it further or leave it alone, nothing is going to happen with this fellow. When he told you he “didn’t remember” much about that night, he was conveying the message that you, too, should forget it. So take the hint and thank your lucky stars that the “beautiful dream” wasn’t more X-rated than the one you described.
Dear Abby: My wife and I have a “friend” who is involved in a charitable organization that provides donated items to people in need via community giveaways.
Over the years we have given various items to this person to use in these giveaways. However, we have noticed that some of the items we have given her are now showing up in her home, and clothing we donated is being worn by her family members.
Abby, we donated because we believed our things were going to those in need. Are we wrong to be upset that they have been kept for her family’s use? We are considering no longer giving our donations to her.
She is a wonderful person, and we’re hesitant to confront her with our concerns, but we are left feeling our generosity was abused.
— Used and Abused
in Southern California
Dear Used: Unless this “wonderful person” has been paying the organization for your items, what she is doing could be considered theft or fraud and an abuse of your generosity. To prevent it from happening in the future, deliver the items directly to the organization and not to her.
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