Woman who needs a hug is urged to reach out

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Updated: February 21, 2012 8:30AM

Dear Abby: May I respond to “Iowa Reader” (Nov. 10), the older woman who asked you where to turn when she needed to be hugged and listened to?

I suggest she get a dog. While dogs can’t hug or hold, they do love unconditionally. A dog is always happy to be with you, and will listen even though it can’t talk back. I would have died of loneliness had it not been for mine. Through her, I have met other older single people on walks and at the dog park. She has given me a way to make new friends and find some company.

Marcy in Oakland, Calif.

Dear Marcy: Thanks for your suggestion. I promised “Iowa Reader” that if other readers shared ideas I would pass them along. Because of you and other compassionate readers, I received a wide range of heartfelt, helpful advice:

Dear Abby: I discovered a wonderful way to receive much-needed human contact — partner dancing. I started with the Argentine tango, which might be a bit too much for some folks, but I have learned to absolutely love it. It’s a safe way to enjoy an intimate connection with a member of the opposite sex, no strings attached.

It takes time to master, but if you stick with it you’ll find a community that shares a passion for a skill that’s challenging and rewarding. If you love music and movement, and could use some exercise, I recommend it.

Catherine in Hawaii

Dear Abby: I was faced with the same situation when my husband passed away. I joined a Sunday school and found what I needed. Often, the only hugs I get are from people in our group.

I volunteer in the kitchen and since I like taking pictures, I’ve been appointed the class photographer. Others have also utilized their hobbies to reach out to people. We go on outings, and I have made many “huggable” friends. I urge “Iowa Reader” to visit places of worship and find one that has an active senior adult ministry.

Jo Ann In Arlington, Texas

Dear Abby: I have been a licensed massage therapist for 20 years. I suggest “Iowa Reader” seek out one. During her hour on the massage table she will be touched, nurtured and encouraged to speak about anything on her mind. It’s my job to not only make her feel safe and healthy physically, but emotionally as well.

For many clients, I am their only source of touch. It gives me great joy to know that in some small way I can make an important difference in their overall well-being.

Hugs From Maine

Dear Abby: I encourage her to offer to tutor or read to kids at her local elementary school, visit residents at a nursing home or work at a homeless shelter. Volunteers receive far more than they give.

Dianne In Gainesville, Fla.

Dear Abby: I work for the YMCA where we have a wonderful community of middle-aged and older people who work out together, spend time visiting during our potlucks, and who have formed circles of lasting friendships.

Corinne In Oregon

Dear Abby: I went back to school, earned my master’s and became a kindergarten teacher. I’m blessed with more hugs now than I know what to do with, and I’m told several times a week that I am loved.

Linda in Pasco, Wash.

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